Monday Musings 9-6-21

September is here! The summer certainly flew by in a whirlwind of parties, graduations, barbecues, book events, and travel. I feel like I’m sliding into home plate with skinned knees, frazzled hair, and otherwise looking pretty worn around the edges. While I’m thrilled we were able to see family and friends, celebrate milestones, and get back into the world, I’m looking forward to the routine of fall.

We only have one child at home, and going back-to-school isn’t the event it used to be, but things still shift for me in September. Maybe it’s because I worked in education for so long, and I’m driven more by the school calendar than by the yearly calendar, that fall feels like a new year.

I take stock, organize my project schedules, and set writing targets. I’m excited to wake up in the morning. I’m focused. I’m productive. I’m in my groove. In fact, September and October are probably my most creative and generative months, so I’ve learned to plan my schedule accordingly. And, in the interest of accountability, I write it all down the same as I do in January.

So, what will I be up to this fall?

• I’ll be digging in to developmental edits with my agent for Dreamwalker. You may remember that I worked until just about midnight on December 31st to make sure this draft didn’t drag into the New Year! I’ve done a little work on it since, but now it’s time to buckle down and get it done.

• In addition, I’m working on some Maggie Clare projects. I hope to finish off the Tactical Solutions International romantic suspense series by Spring of 2022. To keep that schedule, I need to complete the next book this fall.

• I’ve been working with a friend on a charming, magical middle grade book. I’ve finished the draft and a solid round of edits, and she’s pitching it to agents as we speak. Depending on the outcome, I may sign on to write more in the series.

• I’m still working for Inkitt as the Managing Editor for the Writer’s Blog. I’ve also been writing articles for their main webpage, and producing a steady stream of blog posts profiling their employees and successful authors.

• Book Club Babble continues to trot along, and I’ve got a line up of really amazing books to read and review for the fall.

I’m notorious for over-scheduling my work life, but I have to take advantage of my renewed energy in the fall, so, wish me luck. I’ll let you know how it goes!

In other news…

Today is our wedding anniversary! Ray and I have been married for 28 years, and I can’t begin to express how grateful I am for the life we’ve created together.

Monday Musings 8-30-21

It’s another month with five Mondays, which means I get to write a cross-over blog for Monday Musings and Dear Maggie!

Although summer doesn’t officially end until September 22nd, this week feels like the transition to fall, at least in our house. We’ve just returned from dropping kid #3 off at college on the west coast, and kid #4 begins her senior year of high school tomorrow. While this isn’t our first rodeo moving a kid into school, we’ve always come back to a full house and business as usual with the younger kids still at home. But with our youngest a very independent senior, the house is quiet in a way it’s never been before.

In a previous blog, which you can read here, I talked about experiencing two very different emotions at the same time. Accepting that opposite feelings could co-exist, or that I could easily slip from one to the other, helped me navigate a particularly challenging time for our family.

Now, I regularly fluctuate between nostalgia and excitement. On the one hand, I can’t believe our time as parents of young children is nearly up. On the other hand, I am so excited about this next phase in our life. My husband and I have worked hard to create a marriage that’s satisfying to us as individuals and as a couple, and is about more than raising kids together. We love where we are, and we miss our kids at the same time. The idea that we can experience both things simultaneously validates each.

As our children enter the next phase of their lives, we have found a new joy in watching them pursue their dreams, discover their passions, fall in love, and grow into amazing young adults.

“To raise a child who is comfortable enough to leave you means you’ve done your job. They are not ours to keep, but to teach to soar on their own.” - author unknown

Here are some of my favorite photos from last week!

Monday Musings 8-16-21

I can’t believe it’s the middle of August already. As usual, my summer to-do list isn’t anywhere near complete. You’d think I’d have learned the ‘don’t-bite-off-more-than-you-can-chew’ lesson by now. After all, I’ve been writing full time for over five years. But no, I still have delusions of grandeur at the start of every summer season, only to be somewhat frustrated by the end. Next year, I’m going to remind myself to read this post before I begin planning!

Okay, so my list will have to carry over to the fall, which really is my most productive season anyway, but in the meantime, I’ve had to reframe my thinking…

If I look at all my various work projects, friendships, family relationships, volunteer obligations, and travel plans as if they are campfires, my job is to keep a tiny ember alive for each. I can’t manage them all as roaring flames. But, if I do enough to keep the embers warm, when I am ready to give one my full attention, it will flare back to life.

My focus right now is on getting one of my kids packed up and ready for a cross-country college move. I don’t have much time to see my friends, but a quick note to say I’m thinking of them and can’t wait to plan a lunch date in few weeks goes a long way. They understand, just as I would. I also haven’t had much time to create new content, but I write a little bit each day just to keep my head in the game. Soon, my priorities will shift, and my time and energy will be refocused. Hopefully, my new manuscript will flare back to life like the campfire flame!

For me, the summer season is a full one, and to be honest, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Making peace with what that means for my productivity has taken me years, but I think I’ve finally worked it out!

Here are some summer photos! We’ve been busy indeed. Daisy dog is settling in, and Comic Con was a blast. We visited family in Florida, attended a fab summer wedding here on the beach, and barbecued many times!

Monday Musings 8-2-21

I’ve just finished my first post-COVID book event. In fact, I’m writing this blog from my hotel room in Tampa, just outside the convention center. My two friends, fellow authors who also attended the Con, left this morning, but I am meeting my husband down here for a vacation. We’ll catch up with family we haven’t seen in far too long, and have quiet time together at the beach - a perfect ending to the outing!

As I write this, I’m remembering how exhausting these events are. My feet hurt, my voice is hoarse by the end, and I definitely don’t get enough sleep. Regardless, I’ve really missed this part of the writer’s life. I miss talking with fans who enjoy similar things. I miss sharing my process with aspiring writers. I miss the feeling of satisfaction I get when I sign a book I’ve written for a new or returning reader. Sure, I communicate with readers, fans, and fellow authors all the time via social media, email, or Zoom, and I am so grateful for these options, but they don’t replace the energy that’s generated when we’re together in the same room.

My friends and I presented at four different panels over the weekend. The audience was fully engaged. I find these moments, when total strangers connect over a shared interest, to be very powerful. It reminds me that despite the many things that divide us, we have much in common. We have stories to tell, experiences to share, vivid and unique imaginations that compel us to create. When I’m with fellow writers, artists, and other creative types, even in a setting that’s as light-hearted and pop-culture focused as a Comic Con, I’m reminded of the value in what we do.

“There is no doubt that creativity is the most important human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns.” - Edward de Bono

Here’s a few fun photos from the weekend…

Monday Musings 7-19-21

At the end of the month, I’ll be heading to Tampa Bay Comic Con to sign books and moderate panels. I’m so excited to essentially re-launch Equinox, book 3 in the Horizon series. I had just completed the trilogy and started my promotional activities when COVID hit, stalling everything in its tracks. Now that the world is opening up again, I have a pretty aggressive book signing schedule set, and I can’t wait to get going!

I made an interesting pivot during COVID and established the Maggie Clare persona in order to write romantic suspense. I was able to write, market, and sell this type of work without ever leaving home, and it gave me something to dig into and eventually celebrate during a particularly challenging time for me professionally. Turns out, I really love writing as Maggie, but I’m also excited to tend to my speculative fiction platform. To that end, the draft of Dreamwalker is finished, and I am working through edits with my agent before sending it out on submission. Edits are daunting, but at least the framework is in place. I’m really excited to see where this book will land, so stay tuned!

Back to Tampa…. If you’re in the area, I’d love to see you at the Con. I’ll be with a couple of other fabulous RI authors signing books all weekend. Please stop by and say hello. And, if you’re an aspiring or established writer, check out our panels. They’re really fun and informative. Here’s our full program schedule with descriptions:

FEMINISM FOR NERDS

3:00PM - 4:00PM // Floor 1, Rm. 3

If the future is Feminist, is your writing? Maybe you have questions you’re afraid to ask. Or, maybe you have first-person advice you’d like to give. If you’ve ever wondered if your female character should pull her hair back before she battles a vampire (emphatically yes, and she should always have an elastic on her wrist), then this is the panel for you. Always wanted to tell the male writers how a woman really showers? Then join us! SciFi, Fantasy, Gamer, and Graphic Novel writers (or anyone, really, we like you all) let’s have a courageous conversation about what it means to have gender equity in our art.

A HERO, AN ANTI-HERO, AND A VILLAIN WALK INTO A BAR…

10:00AM - 11:00AM // Floor 1, Rm. 5

Your main cast of characters should be well-developed and multi-faceted. Each one has a journey and a backstory. Let’s break down character archetypes, and explore ways to bring depth and complexity to these fictional personalities. Join this lively conversation as we examine existing pop-culture heroes, anti-heroes, and villains, and discuss ways to breathe life into our own characters.

YOU DON’T SUCK, YOU’RE JUST STUCK – THE GIFT OF WRITER’S BLOCK

12:00PM - 1:00PM // Floor 1, Rm. 3

Every writer has faced it - the dreaded blinking cursor and blank page. When the deadline looms but the ideas won’t flow and you’ve lost the plot, what’s a writer to do? Join a panel of experienced authors as they share their tips and tricks for writing their way out of creative paralysis.

WORLD BUILDING 101

1:30PM - 2:30PM // Floor 1, Rm. 5

Science fiction and fantasy stories transport readers to new worlds, from the wondrous to the weird. Solid world building is essential to invite readers into your story and keep them immersed. How can writers construct believable worlds in unbelievable settings? How can we bring authenticity to these imaginary places? How do we develop an internal logic for our stories that is both fantastical and believable? When imagination and writing craft successfully intersect, the results can be out of this world! If you are an aspiring speculative fiction writer, this presentation is for you.

IN OTHER NEWS…

Daisy is here! She’s a little love - so cuddly and sweet! Now, in addition to kitty pics, I’ll be posting lots of puppy pics too. You can check them out on my Instagram @tabithalord.

Monday Musings 7-5-21

The last few months have been a combination of highs and lows, joy and fear, excitement and exhaustion. Essentially, they’ve been a study in contrasts, and the fluctuation alone has been draining. At one point, I had to keep a physical list of the people in my circle who were suffering in some way just to make sure I remembered to check in on them. At the same time, we celebrated my third son’s birthday and graduation, had all our children together for the first time in nearly two years, and were able to experience beautiful, simple things, like dinner with friends, that had been off-limits since COVID.

As I approach my fiftieth birthday (yes, it’s tomorrow), I’ve come to realize this juxtaposition of opposites is how life looks when you’ve reached a certain, ahem, maturity. Not that challenges weren’t part of life when we were younger, but our social circle is larger now and filled with people of all ages, our bodies are a bit older, and we’ve been on the planet long enough to know we won’t escape life unscathed.

Life offers us a myriad of experiences, which may be perceived as good or bad, and often they’ll be handed to us at the same time. So, how do we find peace and equilibrium amidst the flux? I don’t have all the answers, but I think it helps to simply acknowledge this is the case. When I truly accept that the nature of the human experience is complex, I can make peace with it. I can allow myself to find joy even in times of sorrow or pain. I can be grateful for the simple things, and not overlook them when my world feels particularly tumultuous. I can love fiercely and joyfully all the time.

“If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment.” - Carlos Santana

IN OTHER NEWS…

I’ll be at Tampa Bay Comic Con with a few fabulous fellow RI authors from July 30-August 1! If you are in the area, come visit us. Panel schedule TBA!

Little Daisy should be arriving on July 12th. We can’t wait to meet her, and I promise lots of pictures!

Ten years ago today, I summited Mt. Kilimanjaro with my sister and two friends. It was the adventure of a lifetime and I am eternally grateful for the experience.

Monday Musings 6-21-21

All our children are together with us for the first time since Christmas 2019. Our oldest is 28 and the youngest 17. Ray and I were reflecting on just how long we’ve been parents! Those years, when the kids were little, were both wonderful and exhausting. They seemed to go on forever and yet pass in the blink of an eye.

At this juncture, where they are all young adults (or pretty close), I feel nostalgic. On the one hand, I miss spending family time at the aquarium or the zoo or various ball fields. I miss snow days and beach days and bedtime stories. On the other hand, I love where I am in my life right now, and I love seeing my children launch into their adult lives. I love their wonderful significant others. I love watching them grow their careers, and I am so curious to see what they will do.

My nostalgia does not hold regret, and for that I am grateful. Things certainly weren’t perfect, but we had a full, wonderful, messy time of it when our family was younger, and it is exactly right that the kids are where they are now, doing what they’re doing. I think we helped them grow big, brave wings, and they feel free to fly.

Fair winds and following seas to our oldest Nick, who’ll be deploying this summer. So proud of this guy, and so pleased he has found an amazing partner in Leslie. Congratulations to Noah, and his lovely Brynne, on their 2020 graduation from Dodge College of Film. Happy birthday and congratulations to RJ, who graduated from high school and turned 19 on the same day. And last, but not least, our sweet, talented Kyra will be a senior next year! She managed to navigate a challenging COVID junior year with strength and grace. My heart (and my house) is full.

In other news….

I have a big birthday coming up, and guess what I’m getting? Little Daisy is almost ready to travel. We can’t wait to meet her! And yes, I realize I am slowly replacing my human kids with fur babies.

Monday Musings 6-7-21

I’ve been thinking a lot about the culture of ‘busy’ that’s so prevalent in this country. Last week, I mentioned I had a moment of panic as I planned my schedule. Despite the fact that my younger kids are officially out of school for the summer, and I am currently wearing a swim suit (my warm weather, work from home attire) the pace of life is picking up. With the world opening back up, so too are the demands on our time.

After yoga this morning, I was chatting with the instructor who indicated she was feeling similar contradictory emotions. We’re grateful we can be with the people we love and do the things we enjoy again, but also wary of our time filling to capacity. COVID gave us permission to slow down. We didn’t have a choice. We didn’t have to feel guilty for staying home in our pajamas. We could blame the stress of COVID if we were less than productive in our work lives even though we had seemingly more time on our hands.

As I mentioned in my previous post, the idea of living intentionally, of choosing how I spend my time, has been on my mind. I think more about it when planning my schedule, and I’ve given myself permission to slow down or say no when I need to. My kids seem to do a better job with balancing their time and prioritizing. I remember when one of them was in high school and came home with a low B in one of his classes. He was perfectly capable of a higher grade, but when we questioned him, his response went something like this… “Mom, there are only so many hours in the day. I don’t need this class. I don’t want to do so poorly that it affects my ability to get into the school of my choice, but there are many other things, like my friends, my music, and my writing that I prefer to spend time on. Those are a priority.” Maybe he was on to something?

We don’t have to be busy every minute of every day. We can have that cup of tea on the porch in the morning or that glass of wine on the deck in the afternoon. We can say yes to lunch with a friend or pack up and spend a Sunday at the beach. I know I am writing a lot about this, but it’s because I think something may have shifted in us as a culture post-COVID, and I’d like to see that shift last. Time is a precious and limited resource. I want to spend as much of it as I can on the things I believe are most important.

“Waste your money and you’re only out of money, but waste your time and you’ve lost a part of your life.” – Michael LeBoeuf

In other news…

Speaking of the world opening up…I’ll be at Tampa Bay Comic Con from July 30th to August 1st! Along with my fellow sci-fi and fantasy pals, I’ll be signing books and moderating panels. If you’re in the area, stop in and say hello! More info to come.

Monday Musings 5-31-21

This year, May has five Mondays, so per usual when this strange calendar magic occurs, today’s post will appear in both Monday Musings and Dear Maggie. Apologies to those who get it twice!

If you’ve been reading my blogs for a while, you may know I actually like Mondays. I like the feel of time stretching out in front of me, time to accomplish all the things on my list. On Monday, the week ahead is full of potential. Being an obsessive planner, by Monday morning, I’ve already created my detailed to-do list. Organizing time is actually something I’m pretty good at, so please feel free to lift any of my OCD tips if you find yourself struggling! Here’s an article to check out: Time Management - A Busy Writer’s Guide.

When I sat down to organize the coming week, for the first time since the start of COVID, I felt a moment of panic. On the one hand, with the world opening up, I’m thrilled to reconnect with family and friends, excited to book author events, and grateful to be hosting graduations, birthdays, and barbecues once again. On the other hand, when I am living and working at my normal pace, I tend to forget I need breathing room.

While I hope we never have to return to lockdown, or face the stress and losses associated with the pandemic, there may have been something healthy about the enforced slower pace of COVID. As the world re-opens, perhaps we have an opportunity - an opportunity to decide which things we want to return to and which we can live without, which activities feed our soul and which drain us.

As I feel life racing forward once again, here are some things I’m trying to keep in mind…

I want to be intentional about where I spend my precious time. I want to say yes to the things that excite me, or that I believe in deeply, and no to anything that fills me with angst. I mean, piles of laundry fill me with angst, and of course I’ll keep doing the laundry! I’m talking about big things like writing projects, travel plans, volunteer efforts - things on which I spend big chunks of time both personally and professionally. I’m going to try and pause before saying yes or no to something so I can take the time to respond intentionally.

I’ll try to be realistic. I am definitely not realistic about how much I can accomplish on any given day. This leads to frustration and a constant feeling that I am always one step behind. When I can recalibrate my expectations, the frustration disappears.

I’ll remember to build in the down time. As someone who lives by her calendar, I find it very useful to block out ‘down’ time. Whether I’m planning my yoga classes, a hike, or a lunch date, these soul-nourishing activities are a priority right along side my project deadlines. But, more than planning in the fun stuff, if I actually plan in time to do nothing, it’s like I’ve given myself permission to relax. By making it official on my calendar, I don’t feel like I should be attending to something else. Yes, I recognize this as the mind game it is, but it helps!

As we emerge from the year-long plus cocoon of COVID, maybe we can find something of value to take with us.

“Work on purpose, play on purpose, rest on purpose. Do not let yourself or anyone else waste your time.” - Izey Victoria Odiase

Monday Musings 5-17-21

I don’t have much time for musings this morning. I’m heading to Nantucket for the week to chaperone the eighth grade trip for the school where I was formerly employed and where all my kids attended. The same school that burned down almost three years ago. We’ve come a long way! The new building is stunning. We managed to keep the kids safely in school, full-time during this entire year. And, we’re able to take this trip - an activity the kids look forward to for their entire time together as students. This is a slightly modified version of the plans we would have made pre-COVID, but everyone is so grateful nonetheless.

I am grateful for many things this year, even in this time of challenge, especially during this time of challenge. In fact, I think because our world was so limited for so long, these small things feel all the sweeter. I hope I remember this feeling, regardless of what’s happening around me. See you on the other side!

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” - Robert Brault

Monday Musings 5-3-21

Recently, a writer I know decided to throw in the towel. In this industry of rejection, the criticism, slow growth, and slew of ‘no thank you’s’ wreaked havoc on his psyche. I get it. I really do. The artist’s life isn’t for the faint of heart. Putting a piece of ourselves into the world makes us vulnerable. I’ve written a lot about this unexpected vulnerability because it certainly hit me hard. Here’s an oldie but goodie on that topic if you’re interested: Handle with Care - Author Inside.

As artists, we have to balance our fear of rejection with confidence. We have to accept criticism and still persevere. It’s a balancing act, and we can easily fly right off the scales. To be at all comfortable navigating this writer’s life, I think we also have to be comfortable taking risks.

We all take risks in our lives, even if we don’t recognize them as such. We risk our hearts when we fall in love or send a child off to spread their wings. We risk stability when we change careers or pursue a seemingly far-fetched dream. Of course, risky behavior can certainly turn destructive if it’s not tempered. So, how do we know if taking a particular risk is healthy for us? I think the answer to this question is quite individual, but I believe we have to assess whether or not we truly have the heart for it. If the answer is no, that has to be okay. But if our answer is yes, or even maybe, the journey will challenge us to find an inner balance between humble and bold.

Maybe creativity thrives in that sweet spot where courage meets perseverance.

“Don’t listen to those who say,“You taking too big a chance.” Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today. Most important, don’t listen when the little voice of fear inside you rears its ugly head and says, ‘They’re all smarter than you out there. They’re more talented, they’re taller, blonder, prettier, luckier, and they have connections.” I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others, but with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own efforts—and do not make success or failure the criteria by which you live—the chances are you’ll be a person worthy of your own respects.” – Neil Simon

Monday Musings 4-19-21

If I’m feeling out of sorts, my balance is the first thing that suffers in my yoga practice. This makes sense on many levels. The mind/body connection is real, and when things are off in my world, that imbalance is often reflected in my body.

We all lose our balance at various points in life. Serious illnesses, death, a global pandemic. We can add more categories to the list based on our unique experiences, but bottom line, every one of us will get thrown a curveball when we expected the change up. Hey, it’s baseball season!

When our month of March got derailed this year, we had to let go of anything non-essential in order to meet the challenge. Now that we are on the other side, there is still a lingering sense of imbalance, in my world at least. So, how do we find our way back to equilibrium, back to our productive, full lives, when the rug was temporarily pulled out from under us?

Here are few things I think about when life cracks me upside the head with the curve…

Relax expectations. Nothing can make us feel worse than not living up to our own expectations. Whether it’s how fast our body heals from a trauma, or how much content we can produce in a month, if we have unrealistic expectations, we’ll find ourselves in a constant state of frustration. When recovering from anything, physically or emotionally, it’s a gift to ourselves if we can relax our expectations.

Add things back slowly and deliberately. We’ve gradually added things back into our daily and weekly routines that bring us joy. Other than those work or home related items that must be tended to, the stuff we’re doing to bring back balance includes walks together, dinners out, time with friends and family. At some point, our work will pick up to full pace again, but work just wasn’t the top of the list first thing. We consciously chose to spend our limited energy on each other and on the things that brought us joy.

Healing is a process. Whether physical or emotional, healing takes however much time it takes. Sometimes it feels like two steps forward, one step back, but I believe our bodies and minds orient toward equilibrium. We want to feel good, be at peace, experience joy. If we allow the healing process to guide us, rather than attempt to dictate how it should go, we may be more at ease even amidst the challenges.

“No person, no place, and no thing has any power over us, for 'we' are the only thinkers in our mind. When we create peace and harmony and balance in our minds, we will find it in our lives.” - Louise L. Hay

IN OTHER NEWS…

I booked my first post- COVID book event! I’ll be at Tampa Bay Comic Con from July 30th to August 1st signing books and presenting. More details to come! If you haven’t had a chance to read the complete HORIZON series, you can find them here on all platforms.

My alter-ego, Maggie Clare, is running a Goodreads Giveaway. Enter to win a FREE ebook copy of Lost and Found, book 3 in the Tactical Solutions International romantic suspense series. If you like your reads a bit steamier, check it out!

Monday Musings 4-5-21

Life is messy. At the moment, it is particularly messy for my family and several friends in our close circle. But, even in the midst of the messiness, there is beauty. We can find it in the perfect note of a song, or a colorful sunrise over the water, or the softest brush of a kiss. It’s there on a warm spring morning, with the purr of a kitten, during a shared meal with friends. If we are looking, even in the midst of the messiness, we will find generosity and kindness and the strength of the human spirit.

It’s all there. If we have opened our eyes in the morning, it is all still there for us.

So, in the midst of the mess, I think we have a choice. We can choose to live mired in fear or beaten down by our challenges, or we can choose to seek out the sweetness. We can actively look for it, appreciate it, embrace it. This perspective doesn’t minimize our grief or suffering. Life will bring every one of us to our knees at some point. But, if we don’t pay attention to the beauty, even when we might rather bury our heads under the covers, the suffering is all we will see.

“Struggles are a part of life but they are not the totality of what life entails so we must remember to discover all the other ingredients that make life worth living.”

Monday Musings 3-29-21

It’s another month with five Mondays. I guess it isn’t surprising that this phenomenon falls on arguably the longest month of the year - March! While spring is certainly inevitable, March in New England is rough, fluctuating between sleet, snow, fog, and glorious sunny days. It’s enough to give us whiplash. However, the addition of an extra Monday means I get to write a cross-over blog for Monday Musings and Dear Maggie!

In all my circles, professional and personal, we’ve been talking about re-entry. With vaccines rolling out, the world is slowly opening back up, but I think many of us are a bit shell shocked. The pause in our lives wasn’t just a blip on the radar, it encompassed an entire year. Now, we have to find our way back to normal, whatever that looks like.

Our difficulties with re-entry might be for different reasons. Maybe we’ve fallen into something of a rut, all too comfortable sticking close to home in our pajamas. Maybe we’re so out of practice with our routines that it seems daunting to restart them. Or maybe, we’re in the opposite position, and our work was vital during the pandemic, leaving us exhausted and wrung out.

Whatever the case, my first thought is that we should be gentle with ourselves. We’ve come through something daunting, something that our generation hasn’t ever faced in quite this way. It’s okay to feel disoriented. It’s okay to feel, well, whatever it is we’re feeling.

My formula for a gentle re-entry is to add things back slowly. I’ve already started with a few things I feel comfortable doing or that bring me joy, like attending yoga classes and going on hikes. Maybe for you it’s taking a walk or meeting a friend for coffee? Our family has also begun to plan travel, but instead of lavish vacations, we’re going to spend time visiting the family and friends we haven’t seen in person for a while.

The slower pace of lockdown wasn’t all bad, and I don’t want to forget some of the healthy lessons. As the world re-opens, I want to be purposeful with where I choose to spend my time, energy, and resources. My schedule often tipped into exhausting pre-lockdown, and there’s no need for that. Balance is my goal.

Pre-lockdown, I had some healthy habits around saying yes to new projects and activities. I’m going to dust them off and implement them again. One of those good habits was to sleep on something before committing to it. If I’m still enthusiastic after letting it sit for a while, then I know it’s a true yes and not a knee-jerk reaction to something that sounds interesting. As my schedule begins to fill again, I want to be sure I’m focused on the things that are most important.

As we’re able to gather in person again and the world begins to right itself, I’m looking forward to many things. I’m also admittedly a bit tentative, but I think that’s to be expected. We’ve had a rough go of it this last year, and it will take time to feel like we’ve fully emerge from our shells!

“Growth is measured by the gentleness and awareness with which we once again pick ourselves up. The openness with which we take the next unknown step into the remarkable mystery of being.” - Stephen Levine

Monday Musings 3-15-21

There’s only a week left of winter, officially anyway. Here in New England, it’s that in-between time when one second it’s breezy and warm, and the next it’s snowing. Today, was frigid. I think my face froze when I filled my gas tank, but the promise of spring is in the air. The world is awakening - full of promise and new growth and sunshine.

This time last year, regardless of the actual date on the calendar, we entered what felt like a winter of the soul. Fear was already in the air. Sickness crept across the globe, and we didn’t know what that meant for ourselves, our families, or for the human race.

Here we are, almost exactly a year later, and the world is slowly opening back up. In some ways it feels like a lifetime has passed, and in other ways it feels like lost time, like we are awakening from a prolonged pause. I’m more than ready to return to many of the things I missed last year. I can’t wait to be with the people we haven’t seen, including two of my kids. I’m eager to attend book events and live conferences. I’m ready for the freedom of travel. But, I also don’t want to forget some of the unintentional lessons we learned from ‘COVID season’. We took to heart the idea of living simply. We enjoyed time with our family and friends close to home. We thought carefully about how and where we wanted to use our time and resources. We found new ways to care for each other.

In my yoga class today (yes, yoga is in the studio now, not virtually in the basement) the instructor invited us to ‘be in creation.’ While she was talking about the physical poses we were creating with our bodies, on the drive home, I thought about the phrase on a larger scale. We all have an opportunity to thoughtfully and intentionally ‘be in creation’ as we re-enter the world.

“The future is not some place we are going, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made. And the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination.” - John Schaar

Monday Musings 3-1-21

Today, during my morning yoga practice, the instructor invited us to “move without rushing.” Our practice is a vinyasa power flow, and I love it because its the right balance between stretching, toning, and sweating. Vinyasa indicates that, for part of the class, the poses will be strung together into flowing movements. It tends to kick my heart rate up and get a good sweat going, but it’s also easy for me to check out during this time and rush from one posture to another without fully engaging in any of them. Her words helped keep me present during class, and they also resonated after I left to start my work week.

I often find that I’m either rushing through an ambitious to-do list or trying to drag myself through the day, completely spent before I even start. Although I’ve been working at home for years now, and have a good understanding of my own rhythm and productivity, I still struggle with balance. This idea to “move without rushing” invites full engagement in the moment and balances it with forward progress. It reminds me that I can be present in my task, whatever it is, and then move on gracefully when it’s time. There is no need to hurry, and there is no reason to look to the next moment while engaged in this one. Progress is still being made, and whatever I am working on, or whoever I am with, deserves my full attention.

Sometimes, the simplest of ideas can be transformative. Today, I will move without rushing.

IN OTHER NEWS…

Our newest kitten has adjusted nicely to the family. Along with our other fluff muffins, she provides us with hours of entertainment!

Monday Musings 2-15-21

This weekend I presented at Boskone, a science fiction conference I really enjoy. Similar to its World Con cousin, Boskone brings together an eclectic group of scientists, writers, artists, musicians, and gamers. While Comic Cons are fun (you can’t beat the energy, cosplay, and merchandise!), Boskone brings an intellectual depth to the event that the big celebrity Cons lack.

I had the good fortune to moderate several panels this year. My favorite was titled Libraries and Archives in Speculative Fiction. Among other things, we talked about the evolution of information exchange and storage with the advent of the digital age, the role of libraries past and present, and how we can imagine storytelling in the future. At some point, we discussed how information, even blatantly false information, can be amplified quickly and exponentially in the modern age. How, then, do we meet this era of ‘fake news,’ and counter the idea that opinion is truth?

As a fiction writer, I am interested mainly in telling a good story. I explore topics through my characters and plot action that interest me. I hope my work is both entertaining and thought provoking. As a citizen, I feel a different responsibility, and that is to engage responsibly and authentically with the issues of the day.

My personal commitments include finding opportunities for thoughtful discussions at conferences, book clubs, and lectures, listening to experts in their fields, and taking time to fact-check sources before amplifying any particular piece of information. I will continue to stretch my own understanding, expose myself to differing perspectives, and recognize the difference between my opinion and fact.

Speaking something loudly enough doesn’t make it the truth. Our discussion at Boskone reinforced my commitment to participate responsibly in social discourse, and to remember, as someone who wields words for a living, the extraordinary power of words.

“The crisis we face about ‘truth’ and reliable facts is predicated less on the ability to get people to believe the wrong thing as it is on the ability to get people to doubt the right thing.” - Jamais Cascio

Monday Musings 2-1-21

Today is my second son’s 23rd birthday. He is across the continent celebrating with his lovely girlfriend. We haven’t seen him in person in over a year, and that’s hard, but he is where he should be, doing what he should be doing. The pandemic has set his career plans back a bit, but I have no doubt he’ll be just fine when the world opens up again.

On each of the kids’ birthdays, I like to pull out their special baby photo albums and reminisce. Ray and I marveled after the birth of each one that, while they may have the same parents, they are so very unique. It’s been a wonder to watch them grow into adulthood.

Child number two is a writer. He’s the one whose opinion I seek when I’ve finished a new manuscript. His talent at identifying the plot hole, or character deficiency, or finding a simple solution to a tangle, makes him my go-to guy when I’m stuck in my own writing. With his mellow personality, you’d never suspect that he also brings down the house with his stand-up comedy routines. I think because he is an keen observer of people as well as an amazing storyteller, he resonates well with an audience. His creativity is boundless, and even as a child, his keen intelligence was obvious. As he grew into adulthood, his good humor, steady personality, and kindness matured along with him.

As with all my kids, I am proud they are following their dreams and doing amazing things, but mostly I am so proud of the people they are - compassionate, thoughtful, responsible. As different as they are from each other, they all share these qualities. Happy birthday, Noah! We love and miss you.

In other news….

Save the date! I’ll be presenting at Boskone this year, February 12-14, 2021. Join me online for this fantastic science fiction and fantasy convention. It's going to be a great weekend filled with discussions of books, science, art, games, music, and more. Visit the Boskone website: http://www.boskone.org/ to register.

Monday Musings 1-18-21

January is underway, and I’m diving into my new projects with enthusiasm. Of course, we’re only a couple of weeks in, so the energy that surrounds something new is still at play. I’ve learned to take advantage of this feeling and capitalize on what I call ‘the shiny new object’ effect. I can get a lot accomplished at this time of year.

Of course, this is also the time I’m tempted to say yes to everything that comes my way. Then, I’m often sorry when March rolls around and I’m overcommitted. I don’t want to dull the shine of my own enthusiasm, or lose the momentum of the moment, but I also need to stay focused and committed to the projects I’ve signed on for. So, what’s the key to balancing the tension between these two gestures?

For me, one trick is to look for places to pause.

As a writer, pacing is an important part of storytelling. If I overwhelm my readers with one action scene after another, or too many intense emotional scenes without a break, they’ll be exhausted. Conversely, if I don’t create enough dramatic tension and excitement, the story sags and readers will flip the pages in boredom. Finding timely pauses in the action or emotion gives readers a much-needed breather. It gives them a moment to process what’s happened. A timely pause makes for effective storytelling. If you’re a writer, here’s more on pacing your story, including the use of pauses: Pacing Pitfalls and Tips to Tackle Them.

This idea of appreciating the pause translates well into a life practice. When I find moments to stop and breathe, I have more clarity, more energy, and better discernment going forward. I’ve made it a habit now to pause before I say yes to something new. I let the idea sit and percolate for a night or three, and then, if I still feel excited, I am confident in my yes.

A pause allows inspiration to take root. Last week, I was asked to speak at a rather large meeting with only a day’s notice. I wrote down a few ideas on how to tackle the topic, and then I paused, slept on it, and let my brain do its thing. When I woke up, I knew exactly how I wanted to approach the conversation. A pause may seem passive, but really, it is a space which allows for creativity, inspiration, and clarity to flourish.

“In many a piece of music, it's the pause or the rest that gives the piece its beauty and its shape. And I know I, as a writer, will often try to include a lot of empty space on the page so that the reader can complete my thoughts and sentences and so that her imagination has room to breathe.” - Pico Iyer

IN OTHER NEWS…

My short story, LADY IN BLUE, is live on the Tales to Terrify podcast this month! They do an amazing job with audio productions. Patience Pitman was born with the gift, like her late mother before her. As she oversees the reconstruction of her childhood home, burned to the ground in a fire years ago, she finally pieces together the mystery of the Blue Lady, a vengeful apparition who haunted her youth. 'Lady in Blue' is classic ghost story set in turn of the century New England. Have a free listen to LADY IN BLUE! The story starts at approximately 15:30.

Recently, I spent an hour with my good friend, Monica Rodgers, on The Revelation Project podcast. We talked about everything from relationships, to mountain climbing, to kids. If you want to get to know me a little better, you can have a listen. Writing Yourself Open - The Revelation Project Podcast.

Our new kitten is here! You may know that we recently lost a kitten to sepsis only a few days after he arrived. This baby is our little lost kitten’s half-sister, and she is just the sweetest! Welcome baby Cirilla!

Monday Musing 1-4-21

At around 10:30 pm on New Year’s Eve, I finally finished the first draft of my latest manuscript. I gave myself a little bit of a break because, you know, global pandemic and all, but I didn’t want to drag this draft into the new year.

Writing ‘the end’ is quite satisfying, but as soon as I finish a manuscript, I experience a moment of crippling self-doubt. What if it’s total shit? What if the plot makes no sense and the characters are shallow? What if I really don’t have any talent?

During the writing process, I experience these sorts of moments a couple of times - once, smack in the middle of the story, when I’m convinced I’ve totally lost the plot, again when I’ve just finished the first draft and have to give it a read through, and finally, in the middle of editing, when I think the whole thing will fall apart.

But this isn’t my first rodeo. Nope. It’s my seventh. Yes, this is the seventh full-length manuscript I’ve completed, so I know the drill by now. Experience helps, which is why my number one piece of advice to new writers is to finish something. Even if it needs crazy edits. Even if the whole project gets scrapped eventually because it really is shit. Even if it sits in a drawer collecting dust. Experience will give you the confidence to know you can get to the other side.

I think what made 2020 so scary is that we really didn’t know if we’d get to the other side, and, if we did make it, we didn’t know what things would look like when we got there. Finishing another project and celebrating the end of a very challenging year has left me with two seemingly opposite but possibly complementary thoughts. First, we gain strength, experience, and wisdom by seeing something through to completion. Also, this moment is the only one that is guaranteed, so we need to live fully in the moment. Striving to balance these two ideas will be part of my work for 2021.

May your New Year be filled with peace, joy, and hope!