Monday Musings 8-30-21

It’s another month with five Mondays, which means I get to write a cross-over blog for Monday Musings and Dear Maggie!

Although summer doesn’t officially end until September 22nd, this week feels like the transition to fall, at least in our house. We’ve just returned from dropping kid #3 off at college on the west coast, and kid #4 begins her senior year of high school tomorrow. While this isn’t our first rodeo moving a kid into school, we’ve always come back to a full house and business as usual with the younger kids still at home. But with our youngest a very independent senior, the house is quiet in a way it’s never been before.

In a previous blog, which you can read here, I talked about experiencing two very different emotions at the same time. Accepting that opposite feelings could co-exist, or that I could easily slip from one to the other, helped me navigate a particularly challenging time for our family.

Now, I regularly fluctuate between nostalgia and excitement. On the one hand, I can’t believe our time as parents of young children is nearly up. On the other hand, I am so excited about this next phase in our life. My husband and I have worked hard to create a marriage that’s satisfying to us as individuals and as a couple, and is about more than raising kids together. We love where we are, and we miss our kids at the same time. The idea that we can experience both things simultaneously validates each.

As our children enter the next phase of their lives, we have found a new joy in watching them pursue their dreams, discover their passions, fall in love, and grow into amazing young adults.

“To raise a child who is comfortable enough to leave you means you’ve done your job. They are not ours to keep, but to teach to soar on their own.” - author unknown

Here are some of my favorite photos from last week!

Monday Musings 6-21-21

All our children are together with us for the first time since Christmas 2019. Our oldest is 28 and the youngest 17. Ray and I were reflecting on just how long we’ve been parents! Those years, when the kids were little, were both wonderful and exhausting. They seemed to go on forever and yet pass in the blink of an eye.

At this juncture, where they are all young adults (or pretty close), I feel nostalgic. On the one hand, I miss spending family time at the aquarium or the zoo or various ball fields. I miss snow days and beach days and bedtime stories. On the other hand, I love where I am in my life right now, and I love seeing my children launch into their adult lives. I love their wonderful significant others. I love watching them grow their careers, and I am so curious to see what they will do.

My nostalgia does not hold regret, and for that I am grateful. Things certainly weren’t perfect, but we had a full, wonderful, messy time of it when our family was younger, and it is exactly right that the kids are where they are now, doing what they’re doing. I think we helped them grow big, brave wings, and they feel free to fly.

Fair winds and following seas to our oldest Nick, who’ll be deploying this summer. So proud of this guy, and so pleased he has found an amazing partner in Leslie. Congratulations to Noah, and his lovely Brynne, on their 2020 graduation from Dodge College of Film. Happy birthday and congratulations to RJ, who graduated from high school and turned 19 on the same day. And last, but not least, our sweet, talented Kyra will be a senior next year! She managed to navigate a challenging COVID junior year with strength and grace. My heart (and my house) is full.

In other news….

I have a big birthday coming up, and guess what I’m getting? Little Daisy is almost ready to travel. We can’t wait to meet her! And yes, I realize I am slowly replacing my human kids with fur babies.

Monday Musings 6-15-20

This week, my third son will turn eighteen. Having a relatively large family, our kids are a study in nature vs. nurture. Each of them are similar in many ways, and yet so very different. Watching them grow into young adults, discover their talents, and become independent, thoughtful, creative human beings has been an honor and pleasure.

This particular almost-adult of ours is kind and nurturing. We sometimes call him the baby whisperer because little kids and baby animals adore him, and the feeling is mutual. He’s the kid who notices when I need help - not with household chores necessarily, and don’t get me started on his messy room, but he’s there for the things that matter. “Momma I’ve got your back” is a line he uses regularly, and he does.

He’s a kid with a kind heart. In fact, kindness is his super-power. In eighth grade, he was paired with a first grade reading buddy for the school year. At the middle-school graduation, his “buddy” was in tears. RJ invited him on stage and held him on his lap for the whole ceremony, becoming this boy’s beloved babysitter for years afterward.

RJ was and still is a good athlete. I remember a particular baseball game just after he’d been bumped up to the next level of play early one Little League season. A boy from his old team, who had just finished a game on the adjacent field, noticed RJ. He excitedly relayed to his dad that, “RJ was a big guy and had gotten the call.” This little boy was chubby and short, wearing glasses as big as his face, and seemingly uncomfortable in his own skin. His sweet dad ruffled his hair and said, “You’re gonna be a big guy someday too. Want to watch RJ for a little while?” They did. At the end of the inning, RJ caught sight of this little boy and came right to the fence to greet him. “It means a lot that you came to watch me play. Thanks so much, buddy.” That little guy’s smile lit up the bleachers.

A neighbor once said she’d heard I had the kindest kids in the neighborhood, and after meeting RJ, she agreed this was so. It’s no small thing to be kind in this world, and kindness with the courage to act is even more special. Our boy shows us this with his beautiful soul. Happy eighteenth birthday RJ!

“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention.” - Kahlil Gibran