Five Things - December 4, 2023

Welcome to my blog titled “Five Things” where you can expect just that - five random musings or reflections from the previous week or so. In addition, at the end of the blog, I’ll keep a running itinerary of our travel plans. For a photo gallery of our life on the road, our pets, and miscellaneous things I find interesting, you can follow me on Instagram @tabithalord.

So here are this week’s five things…

1. On Saturday night we had dinner at our son and daughter-in-law’s home. Ray and I realized this is the first time one of our kids has had us over for dinner. They are technically all adults now, but two are still in college, and the other has a great apartment, but we’ve never lived close enough to have a meal there. As simple as it was, this felt like a milestone in our parenting journey!

2. We decorated our tiny home for the holidays. It looks adorable and feels festive, although, I am used to the weather being a bit colder during the holiday season. I’m not complaining, though, as Ray and I spent a couple of hours poolside yesterday.

3. My alter-ego, Maggie Clare, is running a holiday giveaway. If you enjoy romantic suspense, click HERE to download your free copy of Sing for Me, book 1 in the series.

4. When the kids were younger, I really wanted to focus on creating a magical, memorable holiday season that wasn’t focused on gifts. For the month of December, we ate dinner by candlelight, baked cookies, listened to holiday music, hosted gatherings, decorated the house (thanks mom and dad for acting as decorating elves!), trimmed the tree, watched ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ so many times we can all quote the movie, kept a supply of the most delicious eggnog from our local farm in the fridge, helped deliver holiday food baskets, and wandered the neighborhood appreciating the light displays on the darkest of nights. Now that everyone is grown, I hope their memories of the season are good ones, and I look forward to watching them create their own traditions with their families.

5. “Winter is a quiet house in lamplight, a spin the garden to see bright stars on a clear night, the roar of the wood-burning stove, and the accompanying smell of charred wood. It is warming the teapot and making cups of bitter cocoa; it is stews magicked from bones with dumplings floating like clouds. It is reading quietly and passing away the afternoon twilight watching movies. It is thick socks and the bundle of a cardigan.” ― Katherine May, Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

Our itinerary, subject to change:

November 19 - January 3, 2024: Orangeland Park, CA

January 3 - 14: Oceanside, CA

January 19 - February 2: San Diego, CA

February 2 - 16: Palm Springs, CA

February 16 - March 1: Las Vegas, NV

March 1 - March 5: Meteor Crater, AZ

March 5 - 15: Albuquerque, NM

March 15 - 17: Amarillo, TX

March 17 - 24: Oklahoma City, OK

March 24 - April 5: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX

April 5 - 12: Fredericksburg, TX

April 12 - 19: Hot Springs, AK

“Not all those who wander are lost.” - J.R.R. Tolkien

Monday Musings 3-15-21

There’s only a week left of winter, officially anyway. Here in New England, it’s that in-between time when one second it’s breezy and warm, and the next it’s snowing. Today, was frigid. I think my face froze when I filled my gas tank, but the promise of spring is in the air. The world is awakening - full of promise and new growth and sunshine.

This time last year, regardless of the actual date on the calendar, we entered what felt like a winter of the soul. Fear was already in the air. Sickness crept across the globe, and we didn’t know what that meant for ourselves, our families, or for the human race.

Here we are, almost exactly a year later, and the world is slowly opening back up. In some ways it feels like a lifetime has passed, and in other ways it feels like lost time, like we are awakening from a prolonged pause. I’m more than ready to return to many of the things I missed last year. I can’t wait to be with the people we haven’t seen, including two of my kids. I’m eager to attend book events and live conferences. I’m ready for the freedom of travel. But, I also don’t want to forget some of the unintentional lessons we learned from ‘COVID season’. We took to heart the idea of living simply. We enjoyed time with our family and friends close to home. We thought carefully about how and where we wanted to use our time and resources. We found new ways to care for each other.

In my yoga class today (yes, yoga is in the studio now, not virtually in the basement) the instructor invited us to ‘be in creation.’ While she was talking about the physical poses we were creating with our bodies, on the drive home, I thought about the phrase on a larger scale. We all have an opportunity to thoughtfully and intentionally ‘be in creation’ as we re-enter the world.

“The future is not some place we are going, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made. And the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination.” - John Schaar

Monday Musings 11-16-20

The dark days of winter are quickly approaching, and this year, with more lockdowns on the horizon, I’m feeling a low grade sense of panic set in. I already struggle to keep from circling the drain mental-health wise in the winter, and with the added stress of the pandemic, I’m going to have to call on all the tricks in my book to get through the season.

So, what are those tricks? Most importantly, I pay attention to self-care. During the winter, my tendency is to let things go that I probably shouldn’t in the self-care department. I don’t feel like working out when it’s still dark in the morning. I want hot chocolate and comfort food pretty much all the time. Sweat pants and a baseball hat seems like a fine wardrobe choice. Instead of fighting these tendencies, I try to incorporate them in a healthy, balanced way. Here are a few specific things I try to do:

• Get more sleep. I need it and the longer nights promote it. I pretend I'm hibernating. 

• Make my work space more pleasant. Candles and twinkle lights. Seriously. They make the darkness, which lasts so much longer now, feel cozy.

• More yoga, less gym. I don't stress myself about getting in a hard core workout a certain number of times per week in the winter. Rather, I commit to more hot yoga. It's great exercise, it’s good for tight winter muscles, and it's hot. Did I mention it's hot? Even if the studio I attend has to close down, I have a place in my house ready to go, complete with space heaters and candles.

• Outdoor time. It takes more effort, layers, and proper footwear, but when I can take a hike in the woods, or even take a walk around the neighborhood, I'm in a better mood afterwards.

Hopefully, there is a light at the end of this pandemic tunnel, with a vaccine on the horizon. But, it is still a long, daunting tunnel to traverse before we get to the other side. Before the season really takes hold, it may be a good time to think ahead about how you’ll manage it. Your self-care methods may not be mine, but you get the idea. Feel free to share what works for you!

In other news…

Save the date! The RI Author Expo is going virtual this year. On December 5 from 10 am - 4 pm, we will have a fantastic line-up of FREE panels, programs, and virtual author meet and greets. We’re using the Grenadine platform and it would be best to register ahead of time so you can plan your day. On the day of the event, live links will be available for every program. Check it out here: RI Virtual Expo. Click the blue button on the top navigation bar to register for the event.

Here’s my schedule for the day:

• Tabitha’s Kaffeeklatsch (meet and greet) 10:00 - 10:45 am

• Not Your Mama’s Romance (panel) - 11:00 - 11:45 am

• Kick Your Scene into Action (presentation) 12:00 - 12:45 pm

• So, You Want to Write a Series? (panel) 2:00 - 2:45 pm

• A Hero, an Anti-hero, and a Villain Walk into a Bar… (panel) 3:00 - 3:45 pm

Hope to see you there!

Monday Musings 2-24-20

Anyone who knows me is aware that cold weather is not my favorite. I‘m a sunshine loving, beach going, hot yoga (emphasis on hot) practicing gal. Years ago, when I worked in education, one of my favorite parts of the day was greeting the children outside in the morning and welcoming them to school. Of course, this meant standing outside, for the better part of an hour, in all kinds of weather, including the bitter cold. I’d wake up on those chilly mornings feeling less than enthusiastic and frankly a little grumpy. Then, I read an article about scientists who worked in the arctic, and just how many calories they had to consume in a day to keep their body temperatures normalized. Apparently, the human body burns more calories in the cold! This was life-changing! Or at least, it was what I call frame-shifting.

After this revelation, every time I went outside in the cold to greet the children, or hike with my girlfriends, or even grocery shop, I thought, well, this calorie burning effort has surely earned me an extra cocktail. Frame-shift!

My example may be somewhat silly, but I’ve applied this idea to other things in my life, and it really does work. Not all the time, and not for all of life’s unpleasantries of course, but enough that I try to regularly employ it when I need an attitude adjustment.

“Positive thinking is more than just a tagline. It changes the way we behave. And I firmly believe that when I am positive, it not only makes me better, but it also makes those around me better.” — Harvey Mackay

In other news…

I’ll be at Richmond Galaxy Con with the Bard’s Tower crew signing books all weekend. If you’re in the area, come say hello!

Monday Musings 2-3-20

Usually, I like Mondays. To me, the start of the week feels full of potential. But, I have to admit, Monday mornings in February feel particularly Mondayish, if you know what I mean. The shine of the new year is wearing off, and the enthusiasm for sticking with the goals I’ve set and the projects I have to complete is waning slightly. This is the time for digging in, when I have to call on my will power and good habits to stay the course.

I realize during the dark days of mid-winter just how important healthy habits are to my productivity and well-being. The first, and probably most important habit, is my time management system. I’ve written before about my admittedly OCD method of structuring my days and weeks, but it becomes particularly important that I stick with it when I least feel like it. When I’m feeling uninspired and lethargic, I have a structure in place that keeps me moving forward. Here’s an article I wrote for Inkitt on the subject that you may find useful: 5 Tips for Time Management: A Busy Writer’s Guide.

In case you don’t want to read the whole article, here’s the ‘CliffsNotes’ version:

1. Use a calendar! Start with broad strokes. Define your goals and major deadlines, and then back into the details.

2. Structure your work life to honor your personal rhythms.

3. Leave space for the unexpected. Equally as important, know when to say no.

4. Use the tools available to increase efficiency.

5. Schedule downtime and time for self-care. Put this on the calendar.

This time of year I also try not to over-schedule myself. I know in the fall, I have seemingly boundless energy and enthusiasm, but winter, not so much. I can’t go on a three-month vacation or hide out on a tropical island (those darn books won’t write themselves!), but I can be realistic about how much I can manage.

While most of my tips focus on the writer’s life, the basic principles worked for me when I was managing a whole different career, and when all the kids were little and my day-to-day looked very different. Maybe you’ll find something useful as you navigate February?

Upcoming Events:

Boskone

February 14-16 - New England’s longest running science-fiction convention!

My panel schedule…

Pacing the Novel

Format: Panel

15 Feb 2020, Saturday 11:00 - 11:50, Marina 4 (Westin)

It’s crucial to the feel of the novel, but one of the least discussed aspects of fiction. How do you intensify a scene, bringing the reader deep into the narrative — yet still keep the novel moving along? Panelists share techniques for balancing intensity and movement within their work.

Genetic Engineering in SF

Format: Panel

15 Feb 2020, Saturday 14:00 - 14:50, Burroughs (Westin)

We have developed the ability to modify and change the genes in plants, animals, and creatures that fall into neither category. To some degree, we have the power to play god, but what are the possible consequences? What is actually possible versus probable? Can we create new species? Can we solve health care problems before conception? Can we grow non-sentient meat like we grow corn? Can we modify humanity to withstand climate change? If the science were only possible, what changes might we make to create a better future for mankind?

Troubleshooting Troublesome Manuscripts

Format: Panel

15 Feb 2020, Saturday 15:00 - 15:50, Marina 2 (Westin)

Our intrepid authors come together to share tips and tricks for tackling the most notorious issues that arise when writing and editing their work. Find out how to fix hidden plot holes, dangling loose ends, and the endings that just won't end!

Evolution of Greek Mythology in Contemporary Fantasy

Format: Panel
15 Feb 2020, Saturday 17:00 - 17:50, Marina 4 (Westin)

Some of the first, and most memorable, fantasy stories were born far in the past in a picturesque land bordered by the Ionian, the Aegean, and the Mediterranean Seas. How have these Greek tales filtered down through the ages, leaving their marks upon the annals of literature, and where can we still see the traces of their influence (if not their direct effect) upon modern fantasy and science fiction?

Kaffeeklatsch: Tabitha Lord

Format: Kaffeeklatsch
16 Feb 2020, Sunday 11:00 - 11:50, Galleria - Kaffeeklatsch 1 (Westin)

RICHMOND GALAXY CON

February 28- March 1

I’ll be signing and selling books all weekend at the Bard’s Tower booth.

Monday Musings 1-20-20

Winter is in full swing, and if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know how I feel about winter! I’ve come to the conclusion that it isn’t the cold so much as the darkness that brings me down after a while. But regardless, I live in the northeast, so this is part of life.

If you, like me, have to work hard to keep your energy up and your outlook positive during the winter months, remember to take good care of yourself. When it’s dark and cold, my tendency is to let things go that I probably shouldn’t in the self-care department. I don’t feel like working out when it’s still dark in the morning. I want hot chocolate and comfort food pretty much all the time. Sweat pants and a baseball hat seems like a fine wardrobe choice. Instead of fighting these tendencies, I try to incorporate them in a healthy, balanced way. Here are some other things I do:

Get more sleep. I need it and the longer nights promote it. I pretend I'm hibernating. 

Make my work space more pleasant. Candles and twinkle lights. Seriously. They make the darkness, which lasts so much longer now, feel cozy.

More yoga. It's great exercise, I practice with a group, and it's hot. Did I mention it's hot?

Outdoor time. It takes more effort, layers, and proper footwear, but when I take my dog for a hike, or even a walk around the neighborhood, I'm in a better mood afterwards.

Your methods may not be mine, but you get the idea. How can you take care of yourself during the times you feel like it the least?

“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.” — Audre Lorde

Monday Musings 11-18-19

It’s a gray November morning here in the northeast. The days are short, the sky is dark, and it’s cold. Winter is definitely coming! Those of you who know me, or have followed my blogs for a while, know that winter is my least favorite month. I’ve learned that although I don’t really like the cold, it’s the lack of light that really messes with me. Coupled with the fact that I work from home, where I often spend hours alone and can easily convince myself pajamas are fine for all-day wear, it’s a slippery slope from cozy hibernation to something a little darker.

As the season jumps into full swing, I have to take charge of my mental health in a very active way. My general disposition is positive, and I’m usually energetic and upbeat. During the dark days of winter, not so much. But, over the years, I’ve learned the most important thing I can do when I’m not feeling my best is to be gentle with myself.

There are times when we need to power through, like during a good workout when we know we can go for a few more reps or dig for that last burst of speed. Sometimes, though, we deserve a kinder approach, or a softer motivation. Sometimes, self-care needs to be our priority. If we recognize our own rhythms and work with them, we may find equilibrium more quickly, and the dark days may not seem quite as long.

“When the well’s dry, we know the worth of water.” -Benjamin Franklin