Monday Musings December 20, 2021

As the year winds down, I find myself thinking a lot about endings and beginnings. Obviously, 2021 is coming to an end, and while we all had high hopes that it would be a better year than 2020, it was just as challenging for my family personally. Not that there weren’t many wonderful things that happened in 2021, but the shitty stuff was pretty shitty. Ever an eternal optimist, I look to the coming year with gratitude and hope. I know there will be challenges, and things often change in an instant, but all the more reason to be grateful for the here and now, and for the time with which we are gifted.

At the end of every year, I also take inventory of my personal and professional life. I ask myself if I am focused on the things that are most important to me, and if I’m spending my precious time on my priorities. If not, it feels like a natural time to make a change. To that end, I’ve decided to step away from Inkitt, the publishing company where I work in several capacities. The projects have been gratifying and interesting, and the people wonderful, but lately it’s been taking too much time away from my own writing. At some point the balance shifted, and I need to shift it back.

The thing about endings though, is that they make space for beginnings. I have a lot I’d like to accomplish professionally this year, and I am clearing the space to do just that. I’m still in the middle of my reflective process, but this is one step I’ve already taken to realign my priorities. I’ll let you know what else I come up with.

Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings. - Henry Cloud

Wishing you all peaceful endings and joyful beginnings this holiday season.

Monday Musings 12-6-21

The holiday season is in full swing. Last week, we decorated the house for Christmas. As I write this, the music station is playing carols in the background, twinkle lights are glowing on the tree, and the yield from yesterday’s cookie swap will supply a delicious platter of sweet treats for an upcoming party. Despite this, I find myself shifting back and forth from joy to melancholy.

With three of our kids living on the west coast, and the last one nearly out the door, our traditions are shifting. I miss cookie baking day with the kids, evening drives to look at Christmas lights, annual trips to watch the Nutcracker, dinner by candlelight each night through the season. I could go on. We always focused on experiences rather than things during the holidays. With a big family, we wanted to make memories not accumulate stuff, and I think we did.

This year, we made an unexpected trip to LA for Thanksgiving. One of the kids needed surgery, and we all gathered in support of him and to celebrate the holiday. While we were there, we were went to another son’s apartment to help him and his lovely girlfriend decorate. The significance of my husband and I becoming part of their newly forming traditions wasn’t lost on us. Change is in the air and our family is at a sort of in-between state. When my feelings of nostalgia tip into sadness, I find great joy watching our kids enthusiastically build their own traditions.

It’s easy to allow the season to become stress-filled and overwhelming, but I hope we’ve modeled for our kids that it doesn’t have to be. Instead, it can be a season of mindfulness, meaningful experiences, and celebration.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Wishing you happiness.” - Helen Keller

Wishing you and yours a season filled with joy, peace, and love!

In other news…

The RI Author Expo is this Saturday, December 11th from 9 am - 3 pm at the Crowne Plaza in Warwick. Signed books make excellent gifts, and this event showcases over 100 Rhode Island authors, myself included. For the first time, I’ll be signing books from the HORIZON science fiction series and the TACTICAL SOLUTIONS INTERNATIONAL romantic suspense series, so if you’ve found me as Tabitha or Maggie, come say hello!

In addition to celebrity guests, book signings, a cool raffle, entertainment, and snacks, there’s an excellent line-up of panels and programs. I’ll be presenting this one at 11:15 am…

Editing: Soup to Nuts

For many authors, the editing process is a daunting one. But a well edited manuscript can mean the difference between a book that’s ready for the world and a document that sits in a drawer collecting dust. Let’s talk about the different parts of the editing process, and how to successfully find and work with an editor. We’ll then spend some time discussing the goals of a developmental edit, and share techniques that will help make the editing process efficient, effective, and satisfying.

Monday Musings 11-29-21

It’s the end of November already, and it’s another month with five Mondays. That means a double post to Monday Musings and Dear Maggie!

We’re just returning home from an unexpected trip to LA, as one of our boys had a medical issue which needed handling. He’s on the other side of it now and doing great, thankfully. I’ll admit, I’m pretty exhausted but relieved, and very grateful for the extra time we got to spend with our kids (minus our oldest who’s currently deployed) and their significant others this Thanksgiving.

Now that I’m home, and my head is back in the writing game, I’ve got some exciting things coming up….

First, the RI Author Expo on Saturday, December 11th from 9 am - 3 pm at the Crowne Plaza in Warwick. Signed books make excellent gifts, and this event showcases over 100 Rhode Island authors, myself included. For the first time, I’ll be signing books from the HORIZON science fiction series and the TACTICAL SOLUTIONS INTERNATIONAL romantic suspense series, so if you’ve found me as Tabitha or Maggie, come say hello!

In addition to celebrity guests, book signings, a cool raffle, entertainment, and snacks, there’s an excellent line-up of panels and programs. I’ll be presenting this one at 11:15 am…

Editing: Soup to Nuts

For many authors, the editing process is a daunting one. But a well edited manuscript can mean the difference between a book that’s ready for the world and a document that sits in a drawer collecting dust. Let’s talk about the different parts of the editing process, and how to successfully find and work with an editor. We’ll then spend some time discussing the goals of a developmental edit, and share techniques that will help make the editing process efficient, effective, and satisfying.

For a full listing of the day’s activities, click HERE.

Once the Expo is in my rearview, I’ll be finishing up the draft of Moving Target, the next book in the TSI series. I’m already working with the amazing Steven Meyer-Rassow on cover design!

The draft of Dreamwalker, an urban fantasy/thriller, is currently with my agent. I’ll probably need to do a little more work before it goes out on submission, so stay tuned.

There’s more, but I’ll save it for next time! Just for fun, here are some pictures of Daisy having a bath and getting ready to travel out west with us!

Monday Musings 11-15-21

Life interrupted. We’ve all experienced it. Whether its’s something quick but annoying like a flat tire on the way to a meeting or a more serious, distressing issue like an illness, we have to adjust because the world doesn’t stop moving. I’ve had some recent experience with this, and here are my thoughts on how to deal as best we can.

Take a breath. Really. If life just got upended with something large or small, give yourself a moment to process. We are all entitled to the mess of feelings that comes when we’re hit with the unexpected. You will recalibrate, but it might take a little time. Give yourself that time.

Prioritize. The world does, in fact, keep on spinning despite our own personal stressors. Work needs attention, laundry washed, meals cooked. The business of day to day living can actually provide good balance if we find ourselves stuck in the muck. But, we probably don’t have the capacity for everything we normally would, so prioritize the to-do list. Accomplish the necessary things, and save the rest. They’re not going anywhere.

Be gentle with yourself. Offer yourself the same kindness and care you would if it were a friend struggling with something. You’d encourage them to take a walk in the sunshine, sit with a cup of tea and decompress, go to that yoga class. It’s harder to do it for ourselves, but we’ll be better for it.

Seek out the joy. To risk sounding cliche, tomorrow is not guaranteed. Not for any of us. But, even when our hearts are heavy, we can find moments of joy. Life is messy. There’s no way around it. Still, there is friendship, peace, laughter, and love in the here and now if we orient ourselves toward it.

“He had learned the rare secret that you must take happiness when you find it - that there is no use in marking the place and coming back to it at a more convenient season, because it will not be there then.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Chronicles of Avonlea

Monday Musings 11-1-21

November 3rd is National Stress Awareness Day. I didn’t know there was such a thing until I was asked to write an article about it for Inkitt, the publishing company I work for. When I interviewed several employees, we talked about the challenges of working in the modern era, how we create balance between work and life, and how we care for our mental and physical well-being.

We all identified similar issues that contribute to our stress. The technology that makes our lives easier also has a flip side in that it’s possible to never disconnect. Working in the creative space, we’re all passionate about our careers and enjoy what we do. In some ways, that makes it even harder to step away. I feel a bit guilty complaining about the stress level of my work, when honestly, its my dream job. Still, unhealthy habits take a toll, and the publishing industry has its own unique type of stressors and headaches.

I’ve blogged about this topic before and shared many of my own tricks to help with balance, productivity, time management, and stress relief. Today, as I write this from the Nantucket ferry, after a Halloween weekend of silliness and laughter, I realize that having fun should be on the very top of the list of stress relieving activities.

Ray and I celebrated the 30th anniversary of our first date on Halloween. I know, I can’t believe I’m this old either. But anyway, one of the reasons I think our marriage has lasted so well for so long is that we really, truly have fun together. We dress up for King Richard’s Faire and laugh our asses off at the off-color shows. We enjoy Halloween as much as our kids. We laugh often and play well together.

When we don’t agree on a particular version of fun (for example, he thinks playing golf is fun, whereas my fun happens later over dinner and cocktails, and he doesn’t think Comic Cons are any fun at all), we still support each other in having that fun independently. So, I would add this little piece of advice to the article I wrote. Make time for fun. Laugh often and easily. It’s good for us!

“Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” — Lord Byron

IN OTHER NEWS:

I’ll be at Rhode Island Comic Con this weekend. You can find me signing books at table 619, and here’s my panel schedule:

• World Building: Mind Your Myths and Backstory - Saturday, November 6 at 11 am in Room 551

• Writing the Other: Creating Characters Outside Your Comfort Zone - Sunday, November 7 at 12:15 pm

I’ll be at the annual RI Author Expo on Saturday, December 11th. Signed books make great holiday gifts, and our Expo features many talented local authors. The program and panel schedule will be coming soon! NOTE:The venue has changed to the Crowne Plaza, Warwick from 9 am-3 pm.

Here are some photos from our Nantucket weekend!

Monday Musings 10-18-21

I’m currently on the west coast, sitting by the pool at the marina as I write this. My last child is a senior in high school, and we spent the week out here doing a college tour. All three of my older boys and my baby sister live in California now, so, from an ease of visiting perspective, we’re hoping kid #4 might choose a school nearby.

Regardless, I love so much about the SoCal vibe, from the weather, to the quirkiness of Hollywood, to the energy of downtown LA, to the sunsets over the Pacific. I’m soaking up a much sun as I can in preparation for the long New England winter!

Speaking of winter, I have a few events that I’m really looking forward to in the coming months. If you are in the area, please stop in and say hello!

First up, Rhode Island Comic Con from November 5-7. I’ll be there all weekend signing books. Here’s my panel schedule:

World Building: Mind Your Myths and Backstory - Saturday, November 6 at 11 am in Room 551

There’s much to consider when constructing a mythical, magical, or futuristic world, and one important factor is the foundation myth or backstory. What does the writer need to know? What does the reader need to know? When do they need to know it? How does the backstory impact the characters and the current events on their world? Join us for a discussion on how to effectively craft a backstory and weave it into your tale. Panel hosted by the Association of RI Authors.

Writing the Other: Creating Characters Outside Your Comfort Zone - Sunday, November 7 at 12:15 pm

Writing characters from different backgrounds than our own is both a challenge and an opportunity for authors. In this panel, we will explore the tools needed to write outside our own experiences to create three-dimensional characters. Topics will include the importance of research, the role of sensitivity readers, and avoiding harmful stereotypes. Panel hosted by the Association of RI Authors.

Then, I’ll be at the annual RI Author Expo on Saturday, December 11th. Signed books make great holiday gifts, and our Expo features many talented local authors. The program and panel schedule will be coming soon!

In other news…

Since we’re coming up on Halloween, I’m going to include links to a couple of short horror stories I wrote, which have been produced by Tales to Terrify, a really awesome podcast, and are available on audio. For both, my stories are the second feature on the show. Have a listen!

Lady in Blue - story begins at 16:39

Goodbye, Charlie - story begins at 18:40

Finally, the photos below are from Marina Del Rey in SoCal and a wooded bridge on the UC Santa Cruz campus. So pretty!

Monday Musings 10-4-21

I love the fact that I am making a career out of writing, and I’m very grateful I get to do something I love as my work. The flip side of this is now writing is a job, with deadlines, and bad days, and projects I don’t feel like finishing. I think we run the risk of this happening with anything that began as a creative outlet, or a hobby, or even side gig, that becomes our real profession. I wouldn’t trade it, but there are days I have to power through like anyone else. It’s a little different from other work in that I still have to access my creativity when I don’t feel like it, but otherwise, the tricks we all use to be productive, establish good habits, find work-life balance, and get through less-than-stellar days are similar. I blog a lot about this.

Today, though, I am having the opposite kind of day. I’m having a really, really good writing day. When a day like this hits, I remember how much I love what I do. It’s so satisfying when the words flow, or I’m writing an exiting scene I’ve been thinking about for a while, or I’ve figured out the plot tangle that’s been bugging me.

When I wrote my first book, I was still working full-time in education, and all four of my kids lived at home. I fiercely protected my writing time, and I always looked forward to it. Sure, I had moments when I felt stuck, but the joy was always there. That’s not always the nature of my experience now, so when I have a day like today, I revel in it, and I try to call up the feeling when writing feels like a chore.

“To be successful, the first thing to do is fall in love with your work." - Mary Lauretta

IN OTHER NEWS…:

I’ll be signing books at RI Comic Con November 5-7. If you are in the area, come say hello!

The RI Author Expo will be live and in person on Saturday, December 11th. Signed books make great holiday gifts, so come on down and finish your shopping! Check the website for a complete list of authors and programming.

Monday Musings 9-20-21

Working from home can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I can create the schedule that works best for me, honoring the way I like to work and maximizing the times I’m most productive. I can have a lunch date on Wednesday and make up for that time on Saturday morning. I can bring my laptop just about anywhere, from poolside to a hotel bar.

On the other hand, I never truly step away from my work. My to-do list is always humming in the background of my mind.

This weekend, I went to Maine to visit friends, enjoy some girl time, and have a mini writing retreat. Yesterday, we hiked. For the whole day. I didn’t once think about my unfinished manuscript, or the meetings I have today, or deadlines, or laundry. It was glorious, and no surprise, today, I feel motivated, refreshed, and energized, ready to dig back in to my work.

So, the moral of the story is this… although I create intentional ‘downtime’ in my schedule, from yoga classes to lunch dates, nothing beats a whole day off. Seriously. It’s so simple, and yet I don’t think I’m the only person who finds it hard to do. The interconnectedness of the world, our ability to reach each other all the time, and the flexibility many of us have to work from home, is wonderful in so many ways, yet it makes it very difficult to step away completely.

I certainly can’t go off the grid for the entire day very often, but I need to remember that it’s necessary, healthy, and rejuvenating to give myself a real break.

“When you rest, you catch your breath and it holds you up, like water wings.” — Anne Lamott

Monday Musings 9-6-21

September is here! The summer certainly flew by in a whirlwind of parties, graduations, barbecues, book events, and travel. I feel like I’m sliding into home plate with skinned knees, frazzled hair, and otherwise looking pretty worn around the edges. While I’m thrilled we were able to see family and friends, celebrate milestones, and get back into the world, I’m looking forward to the routine of fall.

We only have one child at home, and going back-to-school isn’t the event it used to be, but things still shift for me in September. Maybe it’s because I worked in education for so long, and I’m driven more by the school calendar than by the yearly calendar, that fall feels like a new year.

I take stock, organize my project schedules, and set writing targets. I’m excited to wake up in the morning. I’m focused. I’m productive. I’m in my groove. In fact, September and October are probably my most creative and generative months, so I’ve learned to plan my schedule accordingly. And, in the interest of accountability, I write it all down the same as I do in January.

So, what will I be up to this fall?

• I’ll be digging in to developmental edits with my agent for Dreamwalker. You may remember that I worked until just about midnight on December 31st to make sure this draft didn’t drag into the New Year! I’ve done a little work on it since, but now it’s time to buckle down and get it done.

• In addition, I’m working on some Maggie Clare projects. I hope to finish off the Tactical Solutions International romantic suspense series by Spring of 2022. To keep that schedule, I need to complete the next book this fall.

• I’ve been working with a friend on a charming, magical middle grade book. I’ve finished the draft and a solid round of edits, and she’s pitching it to agents as we speak. Depending on the outcome, I may sign on to write more in the series.

• I’m still working for Inkitt as the Managing Editor for the Writer’s Blog. I’ve also been writing articles for their main webpage, and producing a steady stream of blog posts profiling their employees and successful authors.

• Book Club Babble continues to trot along, and I’ve got a line up of really amazing books to read and review for the fall.

I’m notorious for over-scheduling my work life, but I have to take advantage of my renewed energy in the fall, so, wish me luck. I’ll let you know how it goes!

In other news…

Today is our wedding anniversary! Ray and I have been married for 28 years, and I can’t begin to express how grateful I am for the life we’ve created together.

Monday Musings 8-30-21

It’s another month with five Mondays, which means I get to write a cross-over blog for Monday Musings and Dear Maggie!

Although summer doesn’t officially end until September 22nd, this week feels like the transition to fall, at least in our house. We’ve just returned from dropping kid #3 off at college on the west coast, and kid #4 begins her senior year of high school tomorrow. While this isn’t our first rodeo moving a kid into school, we’ve always come back to a full house and business as usual with the younger kids still at home. But with our youngest a very independent senior, the house is quiet in a way it’s never been before.

In a previous blog, which you can read here, I talked about experiencing two very different emotions at the same time. Accepting that opposite feelings could co-exist, or that I could easily slip from one to the other, helped me navigate a particularly challenging time for our family.

Now, I regularly fluctuate between nostalgia and excitement. On the one hand, I can’t believe our time as parents of young children is nearly up. On the other hand, I am so excited about this next phase in our life. My husband and I have worked hard to create a marriage that’s satisfying to us as individuals and as a couple, and is about more than raising kids together. We love where we are, and we miss our kids at the same time. The idea that we can experience both things simultaneously validates each.

As our children enter the next phase of their lives, we have found a new joy in watching them pursue their dreams, discover their passions, fall in love, and grow into amazing young adults.

“To raise a child who is comfortable enough to leave you means you’ve done your job. They are not ours to keep, but to teach to soar on their own.” - author unknown

Here are some of my favorite photos from last week!

Monday Musings 8-16-21

I can’t believe it’s the middle of August already. As usual, my summer to-do list isn’t anywhere near complete. You’d think I’d have learned the ‘don’t-bite-off-more-than-you-can-chew’ lesson by now. After all, I’ve been writing full time for over five years. But no, I still have delusions of grandeur at the start of every summer season, only to be somewhat frustrated by the end. Next year, I’m going to remind myself to read this post before I begin planning!

Okay, so my list will have to carry over to the fall, which really is my most productive season anyway, but in the meantime, I’ve had to reframe my thinking…

If I look at all my various work projects, friendships, family relationships, volunteer obligations, and travel plans as if they are campfires, my job is to keep a tiny ember alive for each. I can’t manage them all as roaring flames. But, if I do enough to keep the embers warm, when I am ready to give one my full attention, it will flare back to life.

My focus right now is on getting one of my kids packed up and ready for a cross-country college move. I don’t have much time to see my friends, but a quick note to say I’m thinking of them and can’t wait to plan a lunch date in few weeks goes a long way. They understand, just as I would. I also haven’t had much time to create new content, but I write a little bit each day just to keep my head in the game. Soon, my priorities will shift, and my time and energy will be refocused. Hopefully, my new manuscript will flare back to life like the campfire flame!

For me, the summer season is a full one, and to be honest, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Making peace with what that means for my productivity has taken me years, but I think I’ve finally worked it out!

Here are some summer photos! We’ve been busy indeed. Daisy dog is settling in, and Comic Con was a blast. We visited family in Florida, attended a fab summer wedding here on the beach, and barbecued many times!

Monday Musings 8-2-21

I’ve just finished my first post-COVID book event. In fact, I’m writing this blog from my hotel room in Tampa, just outside the convention center. My two friends, fellow authors who also attended the Con, left this morning, but I am meeting my husband down here for a vacation. We’ll catch up with family we haven’t seen in far too long, and have quiet time together at the beach - a perfect ending to the outing!

As I write this, I’m remembering how exhausting these events are. My feet hurt, my voice is hoarse by the end, and I definitely don’t get enough sleep. Regardless, I’ve really missed this part of the writer’s life. I miss talking with fans who enjoy similar things. I miss sharing my process with aspiring writers. I miss the feeling of satisfaction I get when I sign a book I’ve written for a new or returning reader. Sure, I communicate with readers, fans, and fellow authors all the time via social media, email, or Zoom, and I am so grateful for these options, but they don’t replace the energy that’s generated when we’re together in the same room.

My friends and I presented at four different panels over the weekend. The audience was fully engaged. I find these moments, when total strangers connect over a shared interest, to be very powerful. It reminds me that despite the many things that divide us, we have much in common. We have stories to tell, experiences to share, vivid and unique imaginations that compel us to create. When I’m with fellow writers, artists, and other creative types, even in a setting that’s as light-hearted and pop-culture focused as a Comic Con, I’m reminded of the value in what we do.

“There is no doubt that creativity is the most important human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns.” - Edward de Bono

Here’s a few fun photos from the weekend…

Monday Musings 7-19-21

At the end of the month, I’ll be heading to Tampa Bay Comic Con to sign books and moderate panels. I’m so excited to essentially re-launch Equinox, book 3 in the Horizon series. I had just completed the trilogy and started my promotional activities when COVID hit, stalling everything in its tracks. Now that the world is opening up again, I have a pretty aggressive book signing schedule set, and I can’t wait to get going!

I made an interesting pivot during COVID and established the Maggie Clare persona in order to write romantic suspense. I was able to write, market, and sell this type of work without ever leaving home, and it gave me something to dig into and eventually celebrate during a particularly challenging time for me professionally. Turns out, I really love writing as Maggie, but I’m also excited to tend to my speculative fiction platform. To that end, the draft of Dreamwalker is finished, and I am working through edits with my agent before sending it out on submission. Edits are daunting, but at least the framework is in place. I’m really excited to see where this book will land, so stay tuned!

Back to Tampa…. If you’re in the area, I’d love to see you at the Con. I’ll be with a couple of other fabulous RI authors signing books all weekend. Please stop by and say hello. And, if you’re an aspiring or established writer, check out our panels. They’re really fun and informative. Here’s our full program schedule with descriptions:

FEMINISM FOR NERDS

3:00PM - 4:00PM // Floor 1, Rm. 3

If the future is Feminist, is your writing? Maybe you have questions you’re afraid to ask. Or, maybe you have first-person advice you’d like to give. If you’ve ever wondered if your female character should pull her hair back before she battles a vampire (emphatically yes, and she should always have an elastic on her wrist), then this is the panel for you. Always wanted to tell the male writers how a woman really showers? Then join us! SciFi, Fantasy, Gamer, and Graphic Novel writers (or anyone, really, we like you all) let’s have a courageous conversation about what it means to have gender equity in our art.

A HERO, AN ANTI-HERO, AND A VILLAIN WALK INTO A BAR…

10:00AM - 11:00AM // Floor 1, Rm. 5

Your main cast of characters should be well-developed and multi-faceted. Each one has a journey and a backstory. Let’s break down character archetypes, and explore ways to bring depth and complexity to these fictional personalities. Join this lively conversation as we examine existing pop-culture heroes, anti-heroes, and villains, and discuss ways to breathe life into our own characters.

YOU DON’T SUCK, YOU’RE JUST STUCK – THE GIFT OF WRITER’S BLOCK

12:00PM - 1:00PM // Floor 1, Rm. 3

Every writer has faced it - the dreaded blinking cursor and blank page. When the deadline looms but the ideas won’t flow and you’ve lost the plot, what’s a writer to do? Join a panel of experienced authors as they share their tips and tricks for writing their way out of creative paralysis.

WORLD BUILDING 101

1:30PM - 2:30PM // Floor 1, Rm. 5

Science fiction and fantasy stories transport readers to new worlds, from the wondrous to the weird. Solid world building is essential to invite readers into your story and keep them immersed. How can writers construct believable worlds in unbelievable settings? How can we bring authenticity to these imaginary places? How do we develop an internal logic for our stories that is both fantastical and believable? When imagination and writing craft successfully intersect, the results can be out of this world! If you are an aspiring speculative fiction writer, this presentation is for you.

IN OTHER NEWS…

Daisy is here! She’s a little love - so cuddly and sweet! Now, in addition to kitty pics, I’ll be posting lots of puppy pics too. You can check them out on my Instagram @tabithalord.

Monday Musings 7-5-21

The last few months have been a combination of highs and lows, joy and fear, excitement and exhaustion. Essentially, they’ve been a study in contrasts, and the fluctuation alone has been draining. At one point, I had to keep a physical list of the people in my circle who were suffering in some way just to make sure I remembered to check in on them. At the same time, we celebrated my third son’s birthday and graduation, had all our children together for the first time in nearly two years, and were able to experience beautiful, simple things, like dinner with friends, that had been off-limits since COVID.

As I approach my fiftieth birthday (yes, it’s tomorrow), I’ve come to realize this juxtaposition of opposites is how life looks when you’ve reached a certain, ahem, maturity. Not that challenges weren’t part of life when we were younger, but our social circle is larger now and filled with people of all ages, our bodies are a bit older, and we’ve been on the planet long enough to know we won’t escape life unscathed.

Life offers us a myriad of experiences, which may be perceived as good or bad, and often they’ll be handed to us at the same time. So, how do we find peace and equilibrium amidst the flux? I don’t have all the answers, but I think it helps to simply acknowledge this is the case. When I truly accept that the nature of the human experience is complex, I can make peace with it. I can allow myself to find joy even in times of sorrow or pain. I can be grateful for the simple things, and not overlook them when my world feels particularly tumultuous. I can love fiercely and joyfully all the time.

“If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment.” - Carlos Santana

IN OTHER NEWS…

I’ll be at Tampa Bay Comic Con with a few fabulous fellow RI authors from July 30-August 1! If you are in the area, come visit us. Panel schedule TBA!

Little Daisy should be arriving on July 12th. We can’t wait to meet her, and I promise lots of pictures!

Ten years ago today, I summited Mt. Kilimanjaro with my sister and two friends. It was the adventure of a lifetime and I am eternally grateful for the experience.

Monday Musings 6-21-21

All our children are together with us for the first time since Christmas 2019. Our oldest is 28 and the youngest 17. Ray and I were reflecting on just how long we’ve been parents! Those years, when the kids were little, were both wonderful and exhausting. They seemed to go on forever and yet pass in the blink of an eye.

At this juncture, where they are all young adults (or pretty close), I feel nostalgic. On the one hand, I miss spending family time at the aquarium or the zoo or various ball fields. I miss snow days and beach days and bedtime stories. On the other hand, I love where I am in my life right now, and I love seeing my children launch into their adult lives. I love their wonderful significant others. I love watching them grow their careers, and I am so curious to see what they will do.

My nostalgia does not hold regret, and for that I am grateful. Things certainly weren’t perfect, but we had a full, wonderful, messy time of it when our family was younger, and it is exactly right that the kids are where they are now, doing what they’re doing. I think we helped them grow big, brave wings, and they feel free to fly.

Fair winds and following seas to our oldest Nick, who’ll be deploying this summer. So proud of this guy, and so pleased he has found an amazing partner in Leslie. Congratulations to Noah, and his lovely Brynne, on their 2020 graduation from Dodge College of Film. Happy birthday and congratulations to RJ, who graduated from high school and turned 19 on the same day. And last, but not least, our sweet, talented Kyra will be a senior next year! She managed to navigate a challenging COVID junior year with strength and grace. My heart (and my house) is full.

In other news….

I have a big birthday coming up, and guess what I’m getting? Little Daisy is almost ready to travel. We can’t wait to meet her! And yes, I realize I am slowly replacing my human kids with fur babies.

Monday Musings 6-7-21

I’ve been thinking a lot about the culture of ‘busy’ that’s so prevalent in this country. Last week, I mentioned I had a moment of panic as I planned my schedule. Despite the fact that my younger kids are officially out of school for the summer, and I am currently wearing a swim suit (my warm weather, work from home attire) the pace of life is picking up. With the world opening back up, so too are the demands on our time.

After yoga this morning, I was chatting with the instructor who indicated she was feeling similar contradictory emotions. We’re grateful we can be with the people we love and do the things we enjoy again, but also wary of our time filling to capacity. COVID gave us permission to slow down. We didn’t have a choice. We didn’t have to feel guilty for staying home in our pajamas. We could blame the stress of COVID if we were less than productive in our work lives even though we had seemingly more time on our hands.

As I mentioned in my previous post, the idea of living intentionally, of choosing how I spend my time, has been on my mind. I think more about it when planning my schedule, and I’ve given myself permission to slow down or say no when I need to. My kids seem to do a better job with balancing their time and prioritizing. I remember when one of them was in high school and came home with a low B in one of his classes. He was perfectly capable of a higher grade, but when we questioned him, his response went something like this… “Mom, there are only so many hours in the day. I don’t need this class. I don’t want to do so poorly that it affects my ability to get into the school of my choice, but there are many other things, like my friends, my music, and my writing that I prefer to spend time on. Those are a priority.” Maybe he was on to something?

We don’t have to be busy every minute of every day. We can have that cup of tea on the porch in the morning or that glass of wine on the deck in the afternoon. We can say yes to lunch with a friend or pack up and spend a Sunday at the beach. I know I am writing a lot about this, but it’s because I think something may have shifted in us as a culture post-COVID, and I’d like to see that shift last. Time is a precious and limited resource. I want to spend as much of it as I can on the things I believe are most important.

“Waste your money and you’re only out of money, but waste your time and you’ve lost a part of your life.” – Michael LeBoeuf

In other news…

Speaking of the world opening up…I’ll be at Tampa Bay Comic Con from July 30th to August 1st! Along with my fellow sci-fi and fantasy pals, I’ll be signing books and moderating panels. If you’re in the area, stop in and say hello! More info to come.

Monday Musings 5-31-21

This year, May has five Mondays, so per usual when this strange calendar magic occurs, today’s post will appear in both Monday Musings and Dear Maggie. Apologies to those who get it twice!

If you’ve been reading my blogs for a while, you may know I actually like Mondays. I like the feel of time stretching out in front of me, time to accomplish all the things on my list. On Monday, the week ahead is full of potential. Being an obsessive planner, by Monday morning, I’ve already created my detailed to-do list. Organizing time is actually something I’m pretty good at, so please feel free to lift any of my OCD tips if you find yourself struggling! Here’s an article to check out: Time Management - A Busy Writer’s Guide.

When I sat down to organize the coming week, for the first time since the start of COVID, I felt a moment of panic. On the one hand, with the world opening up, I’m thrilled to reconnect with family and friends, excited to book author events, and grateful to be hosting graduations, birthdays, and barbecues once again. On the other hand, when I am living and working at my normal pace, I tend to forget I need breathing room.

While I hope we never have to return to lockdown, or face the stress and losses associated with the pandemic, there may have been something healthy about the enforced slower pace of COVID. As the world re-opens, perhaps we have an opportunity - an opportunity to decide which things we want to return to and which we can live without, which activities feed our soul and which drain us.

As I feel life racing forward once again, here are some things I’m trying to keep in mind…

I want to be intentional about where I spend my precious time. I want to say yes to the things that excite me, or that I believe in deeply, and no to anything that fills me with angst. I mean, piles of laundry fill me with angst, and of course I’ll keep doing the laundry! I’m talking about big things like writing projects, travel plans, volunteer efforts - things on which I spend big chunks of time both personally and professionally. I’m going to try and pause before saying yes or no to something so I can take the time to respond intentionally.

I’ll try to be realistic. I am definitely not realistic about how much I can accomplish on any given day. This leads to frustration and a constant feeling that I am always one step behind. When I can recalibrate my expectations, the frustration disappears.

I’ll remember to build in the down time. As someone who lives by her calendar, I find it very useful to block out ‘down’ time. Whether I’m planning my yoga classes, a hike, or a lunch date, these soul-nourishing activities are a priority right along side my project deadlines. But, more than planning in the fun stuff, if I actually plan in time to do nothing, it’s like I’ve given myself permission to relax. By making it official on my calendar, I don’t feel like I should be attending to something else. Yes, I recognize this as the mind game it is, but it helps!

As we emerge from the year-long plus cocoon of COVID, maybe we can find something of value to take with us.

“Work on purpose, play on purpose, rest on purpose. Do not let yourself or anyone else waste your time.” - Izey Victoria Odiase

Monday Musings 5-17-21

I don’t have much time for musings this morning. I’m heading to Nantucket for the week to chaperone the eighth grade trip for the school where I was formerly employed and where all my kids attended. The same school that burned down almost three years ago. We’ve come a long way! The new building is stunning. We managed to keep the kids safely in school, full-time during this entire year. And, we’re able to take this trip - an activity the kids look forward to for their entire time together as students. This is a slightly modified version of the plans we would have made pre-COVID, but everyone is so grateful nonetheless.

I am grateful for many things this year, even in this time of challenge, especially during this time of challenge. In fact, I think because our world was so limited for so long, these small things feel all the sweeter. I hope I remember this feeling, regardless of what’s happening around me. See you on the other side!

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” - Robert Brault

Monday Musings 5-3-21

Recently, a writer I know decided to throw in the towel. In this industry of rejection, the criticism, slow growth, and slew of ‘no thank you’s’ wreaked havoc on his psyche. I get it. I really do. The artist’s life isn’t for the faint of heart. Putting a piece of ourselves into the world makes us vulnerable. I’ve written a lot about this unexpected vulnerability because it certainly hit me hard. Here’s an oldie but goodie on that topic if you’re interested: Handle with Care - Author Inside.

As artists, we have to balance our fear of rejection with confidence. We have to accept criticism and still persevere. It’s a balancing act, and we can easily fly right off the scales. To be at all comfortable navigating this writer’s life, I think we also have to be comfortable taking risks.

We all take risks in our lives, even if we don’t recognize them as such. We risk our hearts when we fall in love or send a child off to spread their wings. We risk stability when we change careers or pursue a seemingly far-fetched dream. Of course, risky behavior can certainly turn destructive if it’s not tempered. So, how do we know if taking a particular risk is healthy for us? I think the answer to this question is quite individual, but I believe we have to assess whether or not we truly have the heart for it. If the answer is no, that has to be okay. But if our answer is yes, or even maybe, the journey will challenge us to find an inner balance between humble and bold.

Maybe creativity thrives in that sweet spot where courage meets perseverance.

“Don’t listen to those who say,“You taking too big a chance.” Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today. Most important, don’t listen when the little voice of fear inside you rears its ugly head and says, ‘They’re all smarter than you out there. They’re more talented, they’re taller, blonder, prettier, luckier, and they have connections.” I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others, but with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own efforts—and do not make success or failure the criteria by which you live—the chances are you’ll be a person worthy of your own respects.” – Neil Simon

Monday Musings 4-19-21

If I’m feeling out of sorts, my balance is the first thing that suffers in my yoga practice. This makes sense on many levels. The mind/body connection is real, and when things are off in my world, that imbalance is often reflected in my body.

We all lose our balance at various points in life. Serious illnesses, death, a global pandemic. We can add more categories to the list based on our unique experiences, but bottom line, every one of us will get thrown a curveball when we expected the change up. Hey, it’s baseball season!

When our month of March got derailed this year, we had to let go of anything non-essential in order to meet the challenge. Now that we are on the other side, there is still a lingering sense of imbalance, in my world at least. So, how do we find our way back to equilibrium, back to our productive, full lives, when the rug was temporarily pulled out from under us?

Here are few things I think about when life cracks me upside the head with the curve…

Relax expectations. Nothing can make us feel worse than not living up to our own expectations. Whether it’s how fast our body heals from a trauma, or how much content we can produce in a month, if we have unrealistic expectations, we’ll find ourselves in a constant state of frustration. When recovering from anything, physically or emotionally, it’s a gift to ourselves if we can relax our expectations.

Add things back slowly and deliberately. We’ve gradually added things back into our daily and weekly routines that bring us joy. Other than those work or home related items that must be tended to, the stuff we’re doing to bring back balance includes walks together, dinners out, time with friends and family. At some point, our work will pick up to full pace again, but work just wasn’t the top of the list first thing. We consciously chose to spend our limited energy on each other and on the things that brought us joy.

Healing is a process. Whether physical or emotional, healing takes however much time it takes. Sometimes it feels like two steps forward, one step back, but I believe our bodies and minds orient toward equilibrium. We want to feel good, be at peace, experience joy. If we allow the healing process to guide us, rather than attempt to dictate how it should go, we may be more at ease even amidst the challenges.

“No person, no place, and no thing has any power over us, for 'we' are the only thinkers in our mind. When we create peace and harmony and balance in our minds, we will find it in our lives.” - Louise L. Hay

IN OTHER NEWS…

I booked my first post- COVID book event! I’ll be at Tampa Bay Comic Con from July 30th to August 1st signing books and presenting. More details to come! If you haven’t had a chance to read the complete HORIZON series, you can find them here on all platforms.

My alter-ego, Maggie Clare, is running a Goodreads Giveaway. Enter to win a FREE ebook copy of Lost and Found, book 3 in the Tactical Solutions International romantic suspense series. If you like your reads a bit steamier, check it out!