Monday Musings 3-21-22

Tomorrow is my youngest child’s 18th birthday. While I’ve said to all the kids many times that a number is just a number, and becoming an adult is a process, this particular date feels momentous nonetheless. Having had my first child at 21, a healthy chunk of my own adult life has been spent actively parenting. It’s been mostly a joy, sometimes a challenge, but always rewarding. Watching our kids discover their talents, become passionate about issues, develop meaningful relationships, and engage with the world is a pleasure.

As they move out of childhood and into the next phase of their lives, I have only a few things I wish for them.

First, I hope they enjoy loving, healthy relationships. I’ve given out dating advice over the years, which I think they’ve found valuable, and my two older boys are well on their way in this area. You can read my words of wisdom on this particular topic on my alter ego’s blog Dear Maggie.

Second, that they surround themselves with a supportive community. Friends hold us up during the rough patches and celebrate with us during the good times. Healthy friendships nourish the soul, and I am certainly grateful for mine.

Finally, I hope they find meaningful work. Work is work, even when it’s something we love, so we’ve encouraged them to choose a career that will hold their interest over time, and one in a field that plays to their talents and skills. I had a college professor who once suggested that we students should do what we love, for sure, but we should also do something we’re good at. I remember being slightly put off by this advice at first because it felt limiting, but it’s actually really wise. I love astronomy and I’ve seriously considered getting an advanced degree in physics, but I will never be that good in the hard sciences. It would always be a struggle, and in the end, I don’t think I’d be able to achieve as much as I’d like in the field. That kind of self-awareness can serve us well.

As parents, we can’t save our kids from all the hardships and challenges they’ll face on their life’s journey. We can only hope we’ve given them useful tools and good advice to navigate their own way. As our last child steps into adulthood, I feel a deep sense of satisfaction that she, like her brothers, is a kind, compassionate, accountable human being whose light shines brightly in the world.

Happy birthday, Kyra. It is an honor and joy to be your mom.

Monday Musings 3-7-22

Instead of thirty one days, March often feels like it lasts thirty one years. On the one hand, this is great, because I’m coming out of my winter hibernation mode and feeling quite productive in my work life. More time means more content produced. But March is also a turbulent month, with spring arriving in fits and starts, and that unsettled quality carries over into my mood. Like the weather, I fluctuate. Some days I’m filled with energy, and other days I have to force myself out of the house. I’m my own personal roller coaster.

When my disposition tends to waver between highs and lows, I have to use a particular set of tricks to keep my balance. Like a bear coming out of its cave into the bright sunshine after a long sleep, I feel a slight bit of disorientation in March. Certainly, I’m eager for the longer days, the warmer air, and the burst of life that comes with springtime, but I’m also trying to shed the sluggishness of winter. I don’t quite have the fortitude yet for the increased activity that comes with this time of year.

So, I have to build it back. Incrementally, I increase my weekly word count, and I plan longer days. I add a little more to my workout schedule. I take advantage of my desire to spring clean, and choose a few projects around the house. While I try to get outside regularly in the winter for a dose of vitamin D, I actually look forward to being outside in the springtime. Most of my book events occur in the spring and summer, so I begin to prep for them.

As I look to the month ahead, I try to focus on March’s potential, while at the same time easing gently into the new season.

“In March winter is holding back and spring is pulling forward. Something holds and something pulls inside of us too.” ― Jean Hersey

Monday Musings 2-21-22

The Monday after a weekend event always feels a little weird to me. When I have a book signing for a couple of hours, or even a whole day devoted to book stuff, I ease right back in to my day to day life and work. After a convention, though, I have to work a little harder at re-entry. First off, I’m tired. Three full days on my feet, chatting with strangers, participating in programs, and sleeping in a different bed takes a toll. But also, at a conference or convention, I’m totally immersed in a different space for days. It’s a little surreal.

Despite my exhaustion and transition challenges after the fact, I really do love these events. I always leave with little gems of wisdom, a truly special encounter with someone new, an engaging conversation to reflect on, and sometimes really good book sales.

Boskone is the oldest annual science fiction convention in New England. Smaller and a little younger than World Con, it is nonetheless a revered event, rich with history and attended by fans, legends in the field, and up and coming writers. It’s a special event to take part in for sure.

Some highlights from my weekend include sitting next to a science fiction historian in the dealer’s room. My delightful table neighbor heard I wrote space opera and proceeded to buy me one of the earliest space opera’s in the genre, published in the 1950’s. He then shared that this conference, Boskone, was named for the enemy empire featured in those stories. Before the end of the weekend, he’d purchased my space opera series. I felt a moment of pride and relevance that my work, in its own small way, has become part of a long, creative tradition in storytelling.

I always learn something new from the panels on which I participate, even when I’m the moderator who planned the program! At the World Building program, one of the panelists compared the opening scene of our novels to the on ramp of a highway. If we make the entry too daunting and steep, our readers may not be wiling or able to follow us on the journey. I thought that was a great metaphor to consider as I edit my latest manuscript for the seemingly hundredth time.

I had the pleasure of eating dinner with an author who is about to publish his thirtieth novel. Granted he started writing in his twenties, but still, what an achievement. I left that meal with extra motivation!

Sometimes writing is a labor of love, emphasis on labor. But when I hear that a reader loved my work, there really is no better feeling. This weekend, I sold the first book in the HORIZON series to a young man on Friday, and by Sunday he’d read it and was back to enthusiastically purchase the rest of the series. That kind of praise and feedback is priceless to an author. We sometimes feel we are toiling away in isolation, sending our words out into the void.

Anyway, I’m off to do some laundry and maybe take a nap, but by tomorrow, I’ll be ready to resume normal activities!

Monday Musings 2-7-22

I am editing again. Most days, if you ask me which is easier drafting or editing, I’ll say editing. The framework of the story is already there, and I know I’ve got something worth keeping. But, editing is a lot of work, and I still have moments when I want to toss the whole thing. I’m at the point right now where I’m not sure if I’m making anything better, if I’ve cut too much, or if I’ve lost the plot entirely.

The funny thing is, I’m good at editing. My agent loves that I can take constructive criticism without a fuss. My previous editor raved at how much improvement I made from one manuscript draft to the next. I teach workshops on editing. At this point in my writing career, I know how to navigate the process and not let self-doubt drag me down a rabbit hole. So, what’s my problem today?

Fatigue. I’m just plain old sick of the story. Tired of working on it. I want to spend time on something shiny and new. But I can’t. I have to finish this thing first. Blah.

This book has been percolating in my imagination for years. When I finished my science fiction trilogy, it’s the project I knew I wanted to develop next. I was so excited about it. It’s a solid concept with interesting characters and an intense plot. I know it deserves to become the best version of itself, and I have to finish the work to get it there.

I’ve learned a few things from finishing my previous projects. I know I have to create a schedule and stick to it. I know I have to work through the moments when I feel stuck. I know the only way to the other side is straight through. Most importantly, I know my enthusiasm will return because the story really is good, and the last version of it will be the best.

Okay, self-talk over. It’s time for me to quit whining, and, like the Nike commercials advise, just do it!

“Keep going, because you did not come this far just to come this far.”

IN OTHER NEWS…

I’ll be at Boskone February 18-20 at the Westin Boston Seaport. My weekend is jam packed and I’m really excited about the panels and programs. Here’s my schedule:

• VIRTUAL: Apocalypse Now and Then: Pandemic-Inspired SF/F/H Format: Panel
  18 Feb 2022, Friday 19:00 - 19:50, Marina III (Westin)

• Lurking in the Id, or How to Write a Really Scary Monster Format: Panel
  18 Feb 2022, Friday 20:00 - 20:50, Marina II (Westin)

• Group Reading (Fantasy): Mike Allen, Tabitha Lord Format: Reading
  19 Feb 2022, Saturday 11:30 - 12:20, Griffin (Westin)

• Worldbuilding — Mind Your Myths and Backstory Format: Panel
  19 Feb 2022, Saturday 13:00 - 13:50, Burroughs (Westin)

• Anatomy of a Relationship: Writing Characters Who Display Healthy Human Connections Format: Panel
  19 Feb 2022, Saturday 15:00 - 15:50, Harbor II (Westin)

Hope to see you there!

Monday Musings 1-31-22

It’s a month with five Mondays, which means this post will appear on Monday Musings and Dear Maggie. At the moment, I’m busy prepping for my next book event. For those of you who want to get their geek on, join me at Boskone February 18-20, 2022 at the Westin Boston Seaport. Boskone is the longest-running science fiction & fantasy convention in New England, and this year it is a hybrid (virtual and live) event. You can learn more about it and register HERE.

Here’s my weekend schedule…

VIRTUAL: Apocalypse Now and Then: Pandemic-Inspired SF/F/H Format: Panel
18 Feb 2022, Friday 19:00 - 19:50, Marina III (Westin)

How will the ongoing COVID-19 catastrophe inform apocalyptic fiction in our genres, moving forward? What will writers do with all their new material — from greater knowledge of epidemiology to personal experiences of loss, sorrow, anger, fear, or determination to increased optimism or pessimism about the human future?

Lurking in the Id, or How to Write a Really Scary Monster Format: Panel
18 Feb 2022, Friday 20:00 - 20:50, Marina II (Westin)

Clowns, zombies, vengeful ghosts. These things haunt our dreams and our collective psyche. But what does it take to write a truly scary monster? Crafting something terrifying requires more than imagining sharp teeth and sharper claws. We must dig deep to unearth that which keeps us up at night. How can we tap into this when writing and creating new monsters.

Group Reading (Fantasy): Mike Allen, Tabitha Lord Format: Reading
19 Feb 2022, Saturday 11:30 - 12:20, Griffin (Westin)

Worldbuilding — Mind Your Myths and Backstory Format: Panel
19 Feb 2022, Saturday 13:00 - 13:50, Burroughs (Westin)

There’s much to consider when constructing a mythical, magical, or futuristic world. One important factor: the foundation myth or backstory. What does the writer need to know? What does the reader need to know? When do they need to know it? How does the backstory impact the characters and current events in their world? Let's talk about how to effectively craft a backstory and weave it into your tale

Anatomy of a Relationship: Writing Characters Who Display Healthy Human Connections Format: Panel
19 Feb 2022, Saturday 15:00 - 15:50, Harbor II (Westin)

Move over emotionally constipated lone wolves! We're looking for characters who connect with each other in strong and compelling relationships. How can we build romances that are both healthy and riveting? How does a character's gender impact the cliches and problematic patterns we see, and how do we get past those in creating a character's ties to others? How do friendship and other non-romantic social connections get represented in positive and impactful ways? Let's also discuss the strong bonds that can form in subculture communities, rather than only having the token gay kid or the token immigrant.

Boskone is a fun, intellectually stimulating event, less focused on pop-culture like Comic Cons and more focused on science, books, art, games, music. If this sounds like your jam, please be sure to stop by the dealer’s room and say hello!

Monday Musings 1-17-22

Recently, I wrote my last blog post for Inkitt, the innovative publisher I’ve freelanced for over the last three years. Usually, the topics I covered were focused on writing craft, but a few of the pieces were interviews with authors, employees, and, most recently, with Inkitt’s CEO.

When I’d prep for an interview, I’d have a few questions in mind I wanted to explore, but I’d also leave room for the conversation to evolve organically. I’ve never been disappointed by the results or by the theme that often emerged from those discussions.

The last article, titled ‘Perseverance and Flexibility: The Secret Sauce of Success,’ was a nod to the important qualities needed in a start-up, and by the team behind it, in order to thrive. As the article developed, I started thinking how those qualities applied to more than start-ups and entrepreneurs. In fact, a good balance between perseverance and flexibility seems a recipe for success in any professional environment, including a writing career.

If I’d given up on my first novel when I got stuck in a plot tangle, or when I needed to do a full-on re-write of a main character, or when I got my first round of rejections, my writing career would have fizzled out before it ever had a chance to begin. Conversely, if I wasn’t willing to pivot when my plot had gone down a murky rabbit hole, or recognize new professional opportunities that would help me develop as a writer, the resulting effect might have been the same.

I think if we consciously reflect on where we’re at with a particular project, or with our career as a whole, we’ll know which quality we need most and why we need it.

“It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.” - Albert Einstein

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” - Albert Einstein

Monday Musings December 20, 2021

As the year winds down, I find myself thinking a lot about endings and beginnings. Obviously, 2021 is coming to an end, and while we all had high hopes that it would be a better year than 2020, it was just as challenging for my family personally. Not that there weren’t many wonderful things that happened in 2021, but the shitty stuff was pretty shitty. Ever an eternal optimist, I look to the coming year with gratitude and hope. I know there will be challenges, and things often change in an instant, but all the more reason to be grateful for the here and now, and for the time with which we are gifted.

At the end of every year, I also take inventory of my personal and professional life. I ask myself if I am focused on the things that are most important to me, and if I’m spending my precious time on my priorities. If not, it feels like a natural time to make a change. To that end, I’ve decided to step away from Inkitt, the publishing company where I work in several capacities. The projects have been gratifying and interesting, and the people wonderful, but lately it’s been taking too much time away from my own writing. At some point the balance shifted, and I need to shift it back.

The thing about endings though, is that they make space for beginnings. I have a lot I’d like to accomplish professionally this year, and I am clearing the space to do just that. I’m still in the middle of my reflective process, but this is one step I’ve already taken to realign my priorities. I’ll let you know what else I come up with.

Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings. - Henry Cloud

Wishing you all peaceful endings and joyful beginnings this holiday season.

Monday Musings 12-6-21

The holiday season is in full swing. Last week, we decorated the house for Christmas. As I write this, the music station is playing carols in the background, twinkle lights are glowing on the tree, and the yield from yesterday’s cookie swap will supply a delicious platter of sweet treats for an upcoming party. Despite this, I find myself shifting back and forth from joy to melancholy.

With three of our kids living on the west coast, and the last one nearly out the door, our traditions are shifting. I miss cookie baking day with the kids, evening drives to look at Christmas lights, annual trips to watch the Nutcracker, dinner by candlelight each night through the season. I could go on. We always focused on experiences rather than things during the holidays. With a big family, we wanted to make memories not accumulate stuff, and I think we did.

This year, we made an unexpected trip to LA for Thanksgiving. One of the kids needed surgery, and we all gathered in support of him and to celebrate the holiday. While we were there, we were went to another son’s apartment to help him and his lovely girlfriend decorate. The significance of my husband and I becoming part of their newly forming traditions wasn’t lost on us. Change is in the air and our family is at a sort of in-between state. When my feelings of nostalgia tip into sadness, I find great joy watching our kids enthusiastically build their own traditions.

It’s easy to allow the season to become stress-filled and overwhelming, but I hope we’ve modeled for our kids that it doesn’t have to be. Instead, it can be a season of mindfulness, meaningful experiences, and celebration.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Wishing you happiness.” - Helen Keller

Wishing you and yours a season filled with joy, peace, and love!

In other news…

The RI Author Expo is this Saturday, December 11th from 9 am - 3 pm at the Crowne Plaza in Warwick. Signed books make excellent gifts, and this event showcases over 100 Rhode Island authors, myself included. For the first time, I’ll be signing books from the HORIZON science fiction series and the TACTICAL SOLUTIONS INTERNATIONAL romantic suspense series, so if you’ve found me as Tabitha or Maggie, come say hello!

In addition to celebrity guests, book signings, a cool raffle, entertainment, and snacks, there’s an excellent line-up of panels and programs. I’ll be presenting this one at 11:15 am…

Editing: Soup to Nuts

For many authors, the editing process is a daunting one. But a well edited manuscript can mean the difference between a book that’s ready for the world and a document that sits in a drawer collecting dust. Let’s talk about the different parts of the editing process, and how to successfully find and work with an editor. We’ll then spend some time discussing the goals of a developmental edit, and share techniques that will help make the editing process efficient, effective, and satisfying.

Monday Musings 11-29-21

It’s the end of November already, and it’s another month with five Mondays. That means a double post to Monday Musings and Dear Maggie!

We’re just returning home from an unexpected trip to LA, as one of our boys had a medical issue which needed handling. He’s on the other side of it now and doing great, thankfully. I’ll admit, I’m pretty exhausted but relieved, and very grateful for the extra time we got to spend with our kids (minus our oldest who’s currently deployed) and their significant others this Thanksgiving.

Now that I’m home, and my head is back in the writing game, I’ve got some exciting things coming up….

First, the RI Author Expo on Saturday, December 11th from 9 am - 3 pm at the Crowne Plaza in Warwick. Signed books make excellent gifts, and this event showcases over 100 Rhode Island authors, myself included. For the first time, I’ll be signing books from the HORIZON science fiction series and the TACTICAL SOLUTIONS INTERNATIONAL romantic suspense series, so if you’ve found me as Tabitha or Maggie, come say hello!

In addition to celebrity guests, book signings, a cool raffle, entertainment, and snacks, there’s an excellent line-up of panels and programs. I’ll be presenting this one at 11:15 am…

Editing: Soup to Nuts

For many authors, the editing process is a daunting one. But a well edited manuscript can mean the difference between a book that’s ready for the world and a document that sits in a drawer collecting dust. Let’s talk about the different parts of the editing process, and how to successfully find and work with an editor. We’ll then spend some time discussing the goals of a developmental edit, and share techniques that will help make the editing process efficient, effective, and satisfying.

For a full listing of the day’s activities, click HERE.

Once the Expo is in my rearview, I’ll be finishing up the draft of Moving Target, the next book in the TSI series. I’m already working with the amazing Steven Meyer-Rassow on cover design!

The draft of Dreamwalker, an urban fantasy/thriller, is currently with my agent. I’ll probably need to do a little more work before it goes out on submission, so stay tuned.

There’s more, but I’ll save it for next time! Just for fun, here are some pictures of Daisy having a bath and getting ready to travel out west with us!

Monday Musings 11-15-21

Life interrupted. We’ve all experienced it. Whether its’s something quick but annoying like a flat tire on the way to a meeting or a more serious, distressing issue like an illness, we have to adjust because the world doesn’t stop moving. I’ve had some recent experience with this, and here are my thoughts on how to deal as best we can.

Take a breath. Really. If life just got upended with something large or small, give yourself a moment to process. We are all entitled to the mess of feelings that comes when we’re hit with the unexpected. You will recalibrate, but it might take a little time. Give yourself that time.

Prioritize. The world does, in fact, keep on spinning despite our own personal stressors. Work needs attention, laundry washed, meals cooked. The business of day to day living can actually provide good balance if we find ourselves stuck in the muck. But, we probably don’t have the capacity for everything we normally would, so prioritize the to-do list. Accomplish the necessary things, and save the rest. They’re not going anywhere.

Be gentle with yourself. Offer yourself the same kindness and care you would if it were a friend struggling with something. You’d encourage them to take a walk in the sunshine, sit with a cup of tea and decompress, go to that yoga class. It’s harder to do it for ourselves, but we’ll be better for it.

Seek out the joy. To risk sounding cliche, tomorrow is not guaranteed. Not for any of us. But, even when our hearts are heavy, we can find moments of joy. Life is messy. There’s no way around it. Still, there is friendship, peace, laughter, and love in the here and now if we orient ourselves toward it.

“He had learned the rare secret that you must take happiness when you find it - that there is no use in marking the place and coming back to it at a more convenient season, because it will not be there then.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Chronicles of Avonlea

Monday Musings 11-1-21

November 3rd is National Stress Awareness Day. I didn’t know there was such a thing until I was asked to write an article about it for Inkitt, the publishing company I work for. When I interviewed several employees, we talked about the challenges of working in the modern era, how we create balance between work and life, and how we care for our mental and physical well-being.

We all identified similar issues that contribute to our stress. The technology that makes our lives easier also has a flip side in that it’s possible to never disconnect. Working in the creative space, we’re all passionate about our careers and enjoy what we do. In some ways, that makes it even harder to step away. I feel a bit guilty complaining about the stress level of my work, when honestly, its my dream job. Still, unhealthy habits take a toll, and the publishing industry has its own unique type of stressors and headaches.

I’ve blogged about this topic before and shared many of my own tricks to help with balance, productivity, time management, and stress relief. Today, as I write this from the Nantucket ferry, after a Halloween weekend of silliness and laughter, I realize that having fun should be on the very top of the list of stress relieving activities.

Ray and I celebrated the 30th anniversary of our first date on Halloween. I know, I can’t believe I’m this old either. But anyway, one of the reasons I think our marriage has lasted so well for so long is that we really, truly have fun together. We dress up for King Richard’s Faire and laugh our asses off at the off-color shows. We enjoy Halloween as much as our kids. We laugh often and play well together.

When we don’t agree on a particular version of fun (for example, he thinks playing golf is fun, whereas my fun happens later over dinner and cocktails, and he doesn’t think Comic Cons are any fun at all), we still support each other in having that fun independently. So, I would add this little piece of advice to the article I wrote. Make time for fun. Laugh often and easily. It’s good for us!

“Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” — Lord Byron

IN OTHER NEWS:

I’ll be at Rhode Island Comic Con this weekend. You can find me signing books at table 619, and here’s my panel schedule:

• World Building: Mind Your Myths and Backstory - Saturday, November 6 at 11 am in Room 551

• Writing the Other: Creating Characters Outside Your Comfort Zone - Sunday, November 7 at 12:15 pm

I’ll be at the annual RI Author Expo on Saturday, December 11th. Signed books make great holiday gifts, and our Expo features many talented local authors. The program and panel schedule will be coming soon! NOTE:The venue has changed to the Crowne Plaza, Warwick from 9 am-3 pm.

Here are some photos from our Nantucket weekend!

Monday Musings 10-4-21

I love the fact that I am making a career out of writing, and I’m very grateful I get to do something I love as my work. The flip side of this is now writing is a job, with deadlines, and bad days, and projects I don’t feel like finishing. I think we run the risk of this happening with anything that began as a creative outlet, or a hobby, or even side gig, that becomes our real profession. I wouldn’t trade it, but there are days I have to power through like anyone else. It’s a little different from other work in that I still have to access my creativity when I don’t feel like it, but otherwise, the tricks we all use to be productive, establish good habits, find work-life balance, and get through less-than-stellar days are similar. I blog a lot about this.

Today, though, I am having the opposite kind of day. I’m having a really, really good writing day. When a day like this hits, I remember how much I love what I do. It’s so satisfying when the words flow, or I’m writing an exiting scene I’ve been thinking about for a while, or I’ve figured out the plot tangle that’s been bugging me.

When I wrote my first book, I was still working full-time in education, and all four of my kids lived at home. I fiercely protected my writing time, and I always looked forward to it. Sure, I had moments when I felt stuck, but the joy was always there. That’s not always the nature of my experience now, so when I have a day like today, I revel in it, and I try to call up the feeling when writing feels like a chore.

“To be successful, the first thing to do is fall in love with your work." - Mary Lauretta

IN OTHER NEWS…:

I’ll be signing books at RI Comic Con November 5-7. If you are in the area, come say hello!

The RI Author Expo will be live and in person on Saturday, December 11th. Signed books make great holiday gifts, so come on down and finish your shopping! Check the website for a complete list of authors and programming.

Monday Musings 9-20-21

Working from home can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I can create the schedule that works best for me, honoring the way I like to work and maximizing the times I’m most productive. I can have a lunch date on Wednesday and make up for that time on Saturday morning. I can bring my laptop just about anywhere, from poolside to a hotel bar.

On the other hand, I never truly step away from my work. My to-do list is always humming in the background of my mind.

This weekend, I went to Maine to visit friends, enjoy some girl time, and have a mini writing retreat. Yesterday, we hiked. For the whole day. I didn’t once think about my unfinished manuscript, or the meetings I have today, or deadlines, or laundry. It was glorious, and no surprise, today, I feel motivated, refreshed, and energized, ready to dig back in to my work.

So, the moral of the story is this… although I create intentional ‘downtime’ in my schedule, from yoga classes to lunch dates, nothing beats a whole day off. Seriously. It’s so simple, and yet I don’t think I’m the only person who finds it hard to do. The interconnectedness of the world, our ability to reach each other all the time, and the flexibility many of us have to work from home, is wonderful in so many ways, yet it makes it very difficult to step away completely.

I certainly can’t go off the grid for the entire day very often, but I need to remember that it’s necessary, healthy, and rejuvenating to give myself a real break.

“When you rest, you catch your breath and it holds you up, like water wings.” — Anne Lamott

Monday Musings 8-30-21

It’s another month with five Mondays, which means I get to write a cross-over blog for Monday Musings and Dear Maggie!

Although summer doesn’t officially end until September 22nd, this week feels like the transition to fall, at least in our house. We’ve just returned from dropping kid #3 off at college on the west coast, and kid #4 begins her senior year of high school tomorrow. While this isn’t our first rodeo moving a kid into school, we’ve always come back to a full house and business as usual with the younger kids still at home. But with our youngest a very independent senior, the house is quiet in a way it’s never been before.

In a previous blog, which you can read here, I talked about experiencing two very different emotions at the same time. Accepting that opposite feelings could co-exist, or that I could easily slip from one to the other, helped me navigate a particularly challenging time for our family.

Now, I regularly fluctuate between nostalgia and excitement. On the one hand, I can’t believe our time as parents of young children is nearly up. On the other hand, I am so excited about this next phase in our life. My husband and I have worked hard to create a marriage that’s satisfying to us as individuals and as a couple, and is about more than raising kids together. We love where we are, and we miss our kids at the same time. The idea that we can experience both things simultaneously validates each.

As our children enter the next phase of their lives, we have found a new joy in watching them pursue their dreams, discover their passions, fall in love, and grow into amazing young adults.

“To raise a child who is comfortable enough to leave you means you’ve done your job. They are not ours to keep, but to teach to soar on their own.” - author unknown

Here are some of my favorite photos from last week!

Monday Musings 8-16-21

I can’t believe it’s the middle of August already. As usual, my summer to-do list isn’t anywhere near complete. You’d think I’d have learned the ‘don’t-bite-off-more-than-you-can-chew’ lesson by now. After all, I’ve been writing full time for over five years. But no, I still have delusions of grandeur at the start of every summer season, only to be somewhat frustrated by the end. Next year, I’m going to remind myself to read this post before I begin planning!

Okay, so my list will have to carry over to the fall, which really is my most productive season anyway, but in the meantime, I’ve had to reframe my thinking…

If I look at all my various work projects, friendships, family relationships, volunteer obligations, and travel plans as if they are campfires, my job is to keep a tiny ember alive for each. I can’t manage them all as roaring flames. But, if I do enough to keep the embers warm, when I am ready to give one my full attention, it will flare back to life.

My focus right now is on getting one of my kids packed up and ready for a cross-country college move. I don’t have much time to see my friends, but a quick note to say I’m thinking of them and can’t wait to plan a lunch date in few weeks goes a long way. They understand, just as I would. I also haven’t had much time to create new content, but I write a little bit each day just to keep my head in the game. Soon, my priorities will shift, and my time and energy will be refocused. Hopefully, my new manuscript will flare back to life like the campfire flame!

For me, the summer season is a full one, and to be honest, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Making peace with what that means for my productivity has taken me years, but I think I’ve finally worked it out!

Here are some summer photos! We’ve been busy indeed. Daisy dog is settling in, and Comic Con was a blast. We visited family in Florida, attended a fab summer wedding here on the beach, and barbecued many times!

Monday Musings 8-2-21

I’ve just finished my first post-COVID book event. In fact, I’m writing this blog from my hotel room in Tampa, just outside the convention center. My two friends, fellow authors who also attended the Con, left this morning, but I am meeting my husband down here for a vacation. We’ll catch up with family we haven’t seen in far too long, and have quiet time together at the beach - a perfect ending to the outing!

As I write this, I’m remembering how exhausting these events are. My feet hurt, my voice is hoarse by the end, and I definitely don’t get enough sleep. Regardless, I’ve really missed this part of the writer’s life. I miss talking with fans who enjoy similar things. I miss sharing my process with aspiring writers. I miss the feeling of satisfaction I get when I sign a book I’ve written for a new or returning reader. Sure, I communicate with readers, fans, and fellow authors all the time via social media, email, or Zoom, and I am so grateful for these options, but they don’t replace the energy that’s generated when we’re together in the same room.

My friends and I presented at four different panels over the weekend. The audience was fully engaged. I find these moments, when total strangers connect over a shared interest, to be very powerful. It reminds me that despite the many things that divide us, we have much in common. We have stories to tell, experiences to share, vivid and unique imaginations that compel us to create. When I’m with fellow writers, artists, and other creative types, even in a setting that’s as light-hearted and pop-culture focused as a Comic Con, I’m reminded of the value in what we do.

“There is no doubt that creativity is the most important human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns.” - Edward de Bono

Here’s a few fun photos from the weekend…

Monday Musings 7-19-21

At the end of the month, I’ll be heading to Tampa Bay Comic Con to sign books and moderate panels. I’m so excited to essentially re-launch Equinox, book 3 in the Horizon series. I had just completed the trilogy and started my promotional activities when COVID hit, stalling everything in its tracks. Now that the world is opening up again, I have a pretty aggressive book signing schedule set, and I can’t wait to get going!

I made an interesting pivot during COVID and established the Maggie Clare persona in order to write romantic suspense. I was able to write, market, and sell this type of work without ever leaving home, and it gave me something to dig into and eventually celebrate during a particularly challenging time for me professionally. Turns out, I really love writing as Maggie, but I’m also excited to tend to my speculative fiction platform. To that end, the draft of Dreamwalker is finished, and I am working through edits with my agent before sending it out on submission. Edits are daunting, but at least the framework is in place. I’m really excited to see where this book will land, so stay tuned!

Back to Tampa…. If you’re in the area, I’d love to see you at the Con. I’ll be with a couple of other fabulous RI authors signing books all weekend. Please stop by and say hello. And, if you’re an aspiring or established writer, check out our panels. They’re really fun and informative. Here’s our full program schedule with descriptions:

FEMINISM FOR NERDS

3:00PM - 4:00PM // Floor 1, Rm. 3

If the future is Feminist, is your writing? Maybe you have questions you’re afraid to ask. Or, maybe you have first-person advice you’d like to give. If you’ve ever wondered if your female character should pull her hair back before she battles a vampire (emphatically yes, and she should always have an elastic on her wrist), then this is the panel for you. Always wanted to tell the male writers how a woman really showers? Then join us! SciFi, Fantasy, Gamer, and Graphic Novel writers (or anyone, really, we like you all) let’s have a courageous conversation about what it means to have gender equity in our art.

A HERO, AN ANTI-HERO, AND A VILLAIN WALK INTO A BAR…

10:00AM - 11:00AM // Floor 1, Rm. 5

Your main cast of characters should be well-developed and multi-faceted. Each one has a journey and a backstory. Let’s break down character archetypes, and explore ways to bring depth and complexity to these fictional personalities. Join this lively conversation as we examine existing pop-culture heroes, anti-heroes, and villains, and discuss ways to breathe life into our own characters.

YOU DON’T SUCK, YOU’RE JUST STUCK – THE GIFT OF WRITER’S BLOCK

12:00PM - 1:00PM // Floor 1, Rm. 3

Every writer has faced it - the dreaded blinking cursor and blank page. When the deadline looms but the ideas won’t flow and you’ve lost the plot, what’s a writer to do? Join a panel of experienced authors as they share their tips and tricks for writing their way out of creative paralysis.

WORLD BUILDING 101

1:30PM - 2:30PM // Floor 1, Rm. 5

Science fiction and fantasy stories transport readers to new worlds, from the wondrous to the weird. Solid world building is essential to invite readers into your story and keep them immersed. How can writers construct believable worlds in unbelievable settings? How can we bring authenticity to these imaginary places? How do we develop an internal logic for our stories that is both fantastical and believable? When imagination and writing craft successfully intersect, the results can be out of this world! If you are an aspiring speculative fiction writer, this presentation is for you.

IN OTHER NEWS…

Daisy is here! She’s a little love - so cuddly and sweet! Now, in addition to kitty pics, I’ll be posting lots of puppy pics too. You can check them out on my Instagram @tabithalord.

Monday Musings 7-5-21

The last few months have been a combination of highs and lows, joy and fear, excitement and exhaustion. Essentially, they’ve been a study in contrasts, and the fluctuation alone has been draining. At one point, I had to keep a physical list of the people in my circle who were suffering in some way just to make sure I remembered to check in on them. At the same time, we celebrated my third son’s birthday and graduation, had all our children together for the first time in nearly two years, and were able to experience beautiful, simple things, like dinner with friends, that had been off-limits since COVID.

As I approach my fiftieth birthday (yes, it’s tomorrow), I’ve come to realize this juxtaposition of opposites is how life looks when you’ve reached a certain, ahem, maturity. Not that challenges weren’t part of life when we were younger, but our social circle is larger now and filled with people of all ages, our bodies are a bit older, and we’ve been on the planet long enough to know we won’t escape life unscathed.

Life offers us a myriad of experiences, which may be perceived as good or bad, and often they’ll be handed to us at the same time. So, how do we find peace and equilibrium amidst the flux? I don’t have all the answers, but I think it helps to simply acknowledge this is the case. When I truly accept that the nature of the human experience is complex, I can make peace with it. I can allow myself to find joy even in times of sorrow or pain. I can be grateful for the simple things, and not overlook them when my world feels particularly tumultuous. I can love fiercely and joyfully all the time.

“If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment.” - Carlos Santana

IN OTHER NEWS…

I’ll be at Tampa Bay Comic Con with a few fabulous fellow RI authors from July 30-August 1! If you are in the area, come visit us. Panel schedule TBA!

Little Daisy should be arriving on July 12th. We can’t wait to meet her, and I promise lots of pictures!

Ten years ago today, I summited Mt. Kilimanjaro with my sister and two friends. It was the adventure of a lifetime and I am eternally grateful for the experience.

Monday Musings 6-21-21

All our children are together with us for the first time since Christmas 2019. Our oldest is 28 and the youngest 17. Ray and I were reflecting on just how long we’ve been parents! Those years, when the kids were little, were both wonderful and exhausting. They seemed to go on forever and yet pass in the blink of an eye.

At this juncture, where they are all young adults (or pretty close), I feel nostalgic. On the one hand, I miss spending family time at the aquarium or the zoo or various ball fields. I miss snow days and beach days and bedtime stories. On the other hand, I love where I am in my life right now, and I love seeing my children launch into their adult lives. I love their wonderful significant others. I love watching them grow their careers, and I am so curious to see what they will do.

My nostalgia does not hold regret, and for that I am grateful. Things certainly weren’t perfect, but we had a full, wonderful, messy time of it when our family was younger, and it is exactly right that the kids are where they are now, doing what they’re doing. I think we helped them grow big, brave wings, and they feel free to fly.

Fair winds and following seas to our oldest Nick, who’ll be deploying this summer. So proud of this guy, and so pleased he has found an amazing partner in Leslie. Congratulations to Noah, and his lovely Brynne, on their 2020 graduation from Dodge College of Film. Happy birthday and congratulations to RJ, who graduated from high school and turned 19 on the same day. And last, but not least, our sweet, talented Kyra will be a senior next year! She managed to navigate a challenging COVID junior year with strength and grace. My heart (and my house) is full.

In other news….

I have a big birthday coming up, and guess what I’m getting? Little Daisy is almost ready to travel. We can’t wait to meet her! And yes, I realize I am slowly replacing my human kids with fur babies.

Monday Musings 6-7-21

I’ve been thinking a lot about the culture of ‘busy’ that’s so prevalent in this country. Last week, I mentioned I had a moment of panic as I planned my schedule. Despite the fact that my younger kids are officially out of school for the summer, and I am currently wearing a swim suit (my warm weather, work from home attire) the pace of life is picking up. With the world opening back up, so too are the demands on our time.

After yoga this morning, I was chatting with the instructor who indicated she was feeling similar contradictory emotions. We’re grateful we can be with the people we love and do the things we enjoy again, but also wary of our time filling to capacity. COVID gave us permission to slow down. We didn’t have a choice. We didn’t have to feel guilty for staying home in our pajamas. We could blame the stress of COVID if we were less than productive in our work lives even though we had seemingly more time on our hands.

As I mentioned in my previous post, the idea of living intentionally, of choosing how I spend my time, has been on my mind. I think more about it when planning my schedule, and I’ve given myself permission to slow down or say no when I need to. My kids seem to do a better job with balancing their time and prioritizing. I remember when one of them was in high school and came home with a low B in one of his classes. He was perfectly capable of a higher grade, but when we questioned him, his response went something like this… “Mom, there are only so many hours in the day. I don’t need this class. I don’t want to do so poorly that it affects my ability to get into the school of my choice, but there are many other things, like my friends, my music, and my writing that I prefer to spend time on. Those are a priority.” Maybe he was on to something?

We don’t have to be busy every minute of every day. We can have that cup of tea on the porch in the morning or that glass of wine on the deck in the afternoon. We can say yes to lunch with a friend or pack up and spend a Sunday at the beach. I know I am writing a lot about this, but it’s because I think something may have shifted in us as a culture post-COVID, and I’d like to see that shift last. Time is a precious and limited resource. I want to spend as much of it as I can on the things I believe are most important.

“Waste your money and you’re only out of money, but waste your time and you’ve lost a part of your life.” – Michael LeBoeuf

In other news…

Speaking of the world opening up…I’ll be at Tampa Bay Comic Con from July 30th to August 1st! Along with my fellow sci-fi and fantasy pals, I’ll be signing books and moderating panels. If you’re in the area, stop in and say hello! More info to come.