holidays

Monday Musings 12-16-19

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There are many wonderful things about working in the modern era – quick communication, the ability to connect with people all over the world anytime, a more flexible work life for some of us. The down-side, at least for me, is never shutting down completely. I can get emails on the weekends and in the evenings. I can work off my laptop from an airplane, a hotel room, or my bed. This is both freeing and exhausting.

Every job comes with some vacation time as part of the deal, though. We all recognize the need to step away and make time for activities outside our professional life. But when I’m writing, I’m often in the zone, so to speak, and I don’t actually want to shut down. For me, some parts of the writing process are rejuvenating and nourishing, and the thought of stepping away completely is stressful. 

I’ve come to recognize that taking a break for me, and maybe most artists, might look and feel a little different than taking a vacation from other jobs. So, instead of trying to turn off my creativity, I ask myself what I need to feel refreshed. Maybe it is a few days away unplugged with no thought to deadlines, edits, or my work in progress, but usually not.

When I’m taking a vacation, it’s a pleasure to find writing time by the pool in the morning, or out on the deck with a glass of wine in the afternoon, or in a hotel bar at off hours. I may be fueling the drunk writer stereotype, but, really, the change of scenery feeds my imagination! The long days, with only the sunshine and a story swirling in my head, feel luxurious. I want to write. It’s joyful under these conditions.  

To me, taking a break really means finding a way to refresh and rejuvenate, and there’s no right way to do that, only the way that works for each of us. I hope you all find a way to recharge this holiday season!

“Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort. ” – Deborah Day

 

Monday Musings 12-9-19

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I’ve been reflecting a bit on two seemingly opposite life philosophies. On the one hand, I’ve come to appreciate the long game - this idea that Rome wasn’t built in a day so to speak. A perspective that we can take time to deeply engage with something, whether that’s our career or our art. Parenting provided me with the ultimate long game perspective. I’m literally watching and guiding other human beings while they take decades to grow into themselves!

Years ago, when I was still in medical school trying to juggle parenting, studies, managing a home, and trying to pay some attention to my husband, a wise mentor suggested that yes, I could likely achieve all my goals if I stuck with them, but I certainly didn’t have to take them on all at once.

We complain about the lack of time we have, how busy we are, and how time flies, and this can certainly feel true. But what if we turn that sentiment on its head and instead consider that we do have time - if we’re willing to look at things from a long game perspective. I’ve had to do this in my relatively new career as a writer. One book, one blog post, one project does not make a writing career. I have to play the long game, and, in a way, it’s a relief. I don’t have to accomplish everything all at once. The long game view allows us time to grow, evolve, and even change our minds. It provides an opportunity to gain perspective and create something meaningful over time.

On the other hand, we have to live in the moment because this moment is the only one we are guaranteed. If we’re always looking to the future, if we don’t attend to the things and people that are truly a priority right now, we might miss out on something important.

I find when I am centered by gratitude, I’m anchored in the moment. When I appreciate the people I am with or the experience I am having right now, I’m not focused on the future. I am not thinking about the things I haven’t accomplished yet. I’m not critical of myself or of anyone else.

Some days, the long game perspective serves us well. Other days, we need to keep our head in the here and now. I think it’s a worthwhile to find balance between the two.

On another note…

I’ll be with Mike Squatrito and Heather Rigney at Ink Fish on Main Street in Warren, RI Saturday, December 14th from 1-3 pm. Signed books make great holiday gifts! Stop in and say hello.

Monday Musings 12-02-19

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It’s December already! Here in New England we have that interesting “wintery mix” going on outside. But my house is decorated, complete with lots of white twinkling lights and candles, the coffee is on, and I’m wearing my snuggly rabbit slippers, so I actually feel quite cozy. As I mentioned in last week’s post, I have a whole list of things I have to do to manage my mood during the winter months and hectic holiday season. I wrote a more extensive post for the Inkitt Writer’s Blog about this. You can check it out here: Mind Your Mental Health.

Right now, I am focused on dividing up the to-do list so I don’t get completely overwhelmed with tasks that should be enjoyable but instead can stress me out if I’m not careful. This week cookie baking is on the agenda! I’ve been participating in a neighborhood cookie swap for the last decade and we’ve turned it into a good-spirited competition. This year I’m enlisting my daughter’s help - she’s got mad frosting skills - in hopes of taking away the grand prize.

So, the fact that I’ve been doing this fun thing with my neighbors for over a DECADE really gives me pause. How did the time pass so quickly? But instead of focusing on how old that makes me feel, I’m choosing instead to feel blessed. It’s a gift to have had these friends in my life for so long. It’s a gift to have events I look forward to as part of celebrating the season. It’s a gift that as a family, we have traditions we enjoy, or even laugh about, like watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” and the kids quoting nearly every line.

“Remember this. Fill your life with experiences, not things. Have stories to tell, not stuff to show.”

On another note…

Join me and dozens of other local authors for the 7th Annual RI Author Expo. Signed books make great holiday gifts!

When: Saturday December 7th, from 10 am to 4:30 pm

Where: Rhodes on the Pawtuxet, 60 Rhodes Place, Cranston, RI

I’ll be moderating this fun panel at 2:00 pm:

A Hero, an Anti-hero, and a Villain Walk into a Bar…

Your main cast of characters should be well-developed and multi-faceted. Each one has a journey and a backstory. Let’s break down character archetypes, and explore ways to bring depth and complexity to these fictional personalities. Join this lively conversation as we examine existing pop-culture heroes, anti-heroes, and villains, and discuss ways to breathe life into our own characters.

And finally…

If you’re looking for a new science fiction or fantasy read, check out these titles from the New England Speculative Writers. They are discounted for Black Friday and Cyber Monday! HORIZON is on the list, so if you’ve been meaning to read it, now is your chance! Sale runs through December 5th. Sci-Fi/Fantasy Black Friday $.99 Deal

Monday Musings 11-25-19

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The holidays are fast approaching and my to-do list is about to become unmanageable. There’s shopping, and cleaning, and cooking, and house guests…

I love the holidays, though, and I don’t want to get completely bogged down with chores and errands and stress. So, every year around this time, I tell myself the season doesn’t have to be exhausting, and I make a list (because lists are a thing for me) of go-to reminders to help me chill. Maybe you need these reminders too?

Simplify. Not everything is urgent. Some things really can wait. Edit the to-do list. The non-essentials will be there when the hectic holiday season is over.

Do a manageable amount every day. I’ve mentioned many times on this blog that I may have an OCD-level organizational system. But, when I take the time to use my calendar and plan ahead, I feel in control of my time. I’m proactive instead of reactive. This time of year, it’s especially important. It’s also important that I’m realistic. I simplify first, and then try to tackle a little something every day.

Ask for help. This is probably a hard one for most of us, but other people can contribute. I host most holidays, but the guests bring nearly all the food. My husband and I make our shopping list together and then divide it up. The kids all pitch in to catch up on laundry, get the guest rooms ready, etc.

Focus on experiences, not stuff. Years ago, we made a decision in our house not to go crazy with Christmas gifts for our kids. We decided they’d each receive three thoughtful gifts. Instead of focusing on one day of opening presents, we tried to create a season of experiences and memories for our family. Cookie baking day, tree trimming, attending A Christmas Carol, watching It’s a Wonderful Life the Friday after Thanksgiving. We have a whole list of traditions associated with the holidays that have nothing to do with shopping or presents. This approach creates a season of things we look forward to rather than a couple of days we need to stress out about.

I remind myself to enjoy the small moments, especially as my kids get older and we aren’t in the same place together very often. It is a busy time of year, but, it’s special too. I try not to lose sight of that.

Happy Thanksgiving!