Monday Musings 5-25-20

Summer is just around the corner, and if you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know it’s my favorite time of year. I look forward to concerts, book events, Comic Cons, beach trips, and travel to see my older kids and sister. This year, none of that is happening. Of course, I’m disappointed and sad, mostly that I won’t get to be with my family in person, but I get that it’s what we have to do.

My husband and I have always said we should stick close to home in the summer because it’s the best time to be here, and yet we end up traveling for most of it. Well, here’s our chance! So, instead of dwelling on what I can’t do, I’m making a conscious effort to reframe my perspective and enjoy what I can do.

Summer in our home state is gorgeous, and we have a pretty awesome backyard setup, complete with pool, patio, and fire pit. We can gather here with our small group and be together. We can appreciate the sunshine and slower pace of summer. We can walk our neighborhood and sit on the porch with a glass (or bottle) of wine. We can recognize and appreciate our health. We can plant a garden. We take a deep breath. We can laugh and swim and have dinner on the deck. We can love one another. It’s enough.

“It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.” - Sheryl Crow, Soak up the Sun

Monday Musings 12-9-19

I’ve been reflecting a bit on two seemingly opposite life philosophies. On the one hand, I’ve come to appreciate the long game - this idea that Rome wasn’t built in a day so to speak. A perspective that we can take time to deeply engage with something, whether that’s our career or our art. Parenting provided me with the ultimate long game perspective. I’m literally watching and guiding other human beings while they take decades to grow into themselves!

Years ago, when I was still in medical school trying to juggle parenting, studies, managing a home, and trying to pay some attention to my husband, a wise mentor suggested that yes, I could likely achieve all my goals if I stuck with them, but I certainly didn’t have to take them on all at once.

We complain about the lack of time we have, how busy we are, and how time flies, and this can certainly feel true. But what if we turn that sentiment on its head and instead consider that we do have time - if we’re willing to look at things from a long game perspective. I’ve had to do this in my relatively new career as a writer. One book, one blog post, one project does not make a writing career. I have to play the long game, and, in a way, it’s a relief. I don’t have to accomplish everything all at once. The long game view allows us time to grow, evolve, and even change our minds. It provides an opportunity to gain perspective and create something meaningful over time.

On the other hand, we have to live in the moment because this moment is the only one we are guaranteed. If we’re always looking to the future, if we don’t attend to the things and people that are truly a priority right now, we might miss out on something important.

I find when I am centered by gratitude, I’m anchored in the moment. When I appreciate the people I am with or the experience I am having right now, I’m not focused on the future. I am not thinking about the things I haven’t accomplished yet. I’m not critical of myself or of anyone else.

Some days, the long game perspective serves us well. Other days, we need to keep our head in the here and now. I think it’s a worthwhile to find balance between the two.

On another note…

I’ll be with Mike Squatrito and Heather Rigney at Ink Fish on Main Street in Warren, RI Saturday, December 14th from 1-3 pm. Signed books make great holiday gifts! Stop in and say hello.