Monday Musings 8-17-20

Every year in the middle of August, around now actually, I start to feel as if time is galloping away at top speed. The summer is winding down. The changeover to fall is in the air. Sure, we have some scorching days, backyard BBQs, and beach time left, but September is in sight.

Don’t get me wrong, I love fall. I love the crisp days, my renewed interest in cooking, the productivity in my work life. I love apple picking, football season, and mulled cider. I love the changing leaves, pumpkins, and dressing up for Halloween. My trepidation isn’t really about the change of seasons at all, it’s about the way I can feel time passing by in such a visceral way.

This year, I am torn between wanting to draw out time, and feeling a desperate urge to speed things forward. This hasn’t been the easiest timeline for me, or for anyone else on planet Earth. A resurgence in the virus is a very real concern. My inability to travel has directly impacted my career. I haven’t seen my two oldest children since Christmas. The list goes on. But, I am acutely aware that tomorrow isn’t promised and this moment is a gift, so savoring the here and now, mindfully choosing how to spend my time, and fully embracing the present with all its challenges, is how I am striving to show up.

“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.” Dalai Lama

Monday Musings 7-22-19

I found a picture recently that my husband took of me and our four kids when they were little. We’re piled on the bed with our new kitten. For perspective, my kids are now 26, 21, 17, and 15, and that kitty is 9 years old. I remember that particular moment, and I remember my kids being little like it was yesterday. Cliched I know, but true.

Last winter, Ray and I took a walk through our neighborhood one morning after a snowstorm. School was cancelled for our teenagers so they were in bed, and probably wouldn’t make an appearance until noon. As we wandered the empty streets, bleary eyed parents chased bundled up kids through the fresh snow. Those parents looked tired and frazzled, and we got teary-eyed. I don’t want to go back to an earlier point in my life. I’m really happy with where I am now. We’ve worked hard to get here. But with every birthday that comes and goes, I truly feel the passage of time.

When my kids saw this same picture, they made comments like how much they missed being all together now that two have moved out permanently. They feel it too, this change over time. I don’t think they necessarily want to go back either, but remembering helps us appreciate the sweetness and the ephemeral quality of those moments. Maybe remembering also helps us live more fully in the here and now.

“Mindfulness isn’t difficult, we just need to remember to do it.” - Sharon Salzberg