This week, my third son will turn eighteen. Having a relatively large family, our kids are a study in nature vs. nurture. Each of them are similar in many ways, and yet so very different. Watching them grow into young adults, discover their talents, and become independent, thoughtful, creative human beings has been an honor and pleasure.

This particular almost-adult of ours is kind and nurturing. We sometimes call him the baby whisperer because little kids and baby animals adore him, and the feeling is mutual. He’s the kid who notices when I need help - not with household chores necessarily, and don’t get me started on his messy room, but he’s there for the things that matter. “Momma I’ve got your back” is a line he uses regularly, and he does.

He’s a kid with a kind heart. In fact, kindness is his super-power. In eighth grade, he was paired with a first grade reading buddy for the school year. At the middle-school graduation, his “buddy” was in tears. RJ invited him on stage and held him on his lap for the whole ceremony, becoming this boy’s beloved babysitter for years afterward.

RJ was and still is a good athlete. I remember a particular baseball game just after he’d been bumped up to the next level of play early one Little League season. A boy from his old team, who had just finished a game on the adjacent field, noticed RJ. He excitedly relayed to his dad that, “RJ was a big guy and had gotten the call.” This little boy was chubby and short, wearing glasses as big as his face, and seemingly uncomfortable in his own skin. His sweet dad ruffled his hair and said, “You’re gonna be a big guy someday too. Want to watch RJ for a little while?” They did. At the end of the inning, RJ caught sight of this little boy and came right to the fence to greet him. “It means a lot that you came to watch me play. Thanks so much, buddy.” That little guy’s smile lit up the bleachers.

A neighbor once said she’d heard I had the kindest kids in the neighborhood, and after meeting RJ, she agreed this was so. It’s no small thing to be kind in this world, and kindness with the courage to act is even more special. Our boy shows us this with his beautiful soul. Happy eighteenth birthday RJ!

“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention.” - Kahlil Gibran